The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

The LJN Library (2021)

Sam Beddoes: Sam the Game Designer

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I will be remaking the LJN game library, starting with Back to the Future, using the same limitations they had back then, except this time, it'll be done right. So...

  [starts typing] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : let me introduce to you my game designer, Sam. How're you doin', Sam?

  Sam the Game Designer : [Sam appears in the Nerd's C64 screen]  Hey Nerd, I'm doin' great! I'm really excited to be working on this. What are you calling me from?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : It's, uh, Commodore 64.

  Sam the Game Designer : How is that eve... it's not important. Listen. Universal have a strict deadline on this, so it has to be ready in time for the Christmas shopping season.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : So, um, the actors, likenesses, the music, do we have everything signed off?

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh, yeah working on it, but it's almost there.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : So we want this to be more of a fun action experience you know, racin' around on the skateboard... lots of enemies, characters from the movies.

  Sam the Game Designer : Ah, sounds good. I'll get to work and report back soon.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Thanks, Sam.

  [the Nerd turns off his C64 system] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : That new game's gonna be good. It better be.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Let's check on Sam.

  [turns on his C64 system] 

  Sam the Game Designer : Hey, Nerd!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Hey! How's it going?

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah, it's coming along. Try it out.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [the Nerd begins playing the prototype game. Marty is jumping through obstacles, collecting clocks, and stomping on enemies]  O-Okay. Um, wha-... Clocks? Really? Clocks again?

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh you know, time! Isn't it?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : I- Okay, we need to change the clocks. We can't have clocks in the game.

  Sam the Game Designer : Got it, got it, right, changing the clocks. No clocks.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : You didn't get the licensing, did you?

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh... the hoverboard... uh, that we got that. It's, it's pink and yellow.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : How are you supposed to control this?

  Sam the Game Designer : Yes, so there's like an acceleration, deceleration thing going on there so it feels kind of like uh... actually hovering on a hoverboard. I'm still working on getting it to be actually playable.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah, playable! That would be... something.

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah yeah, it'll get there.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : The holographic shark, w-what is going on with it?

  Sam the Game Designer : Okay, so the the NES couldn't actually do like transparencies so to make something look kind of transparent, you had a frame where you could see it and a frame where you couldn't see it. See? You can see it's like flashing on and off and if you put on a really old CRT TV, it kind of looks transparent and you only get a tiny little bit of a headache!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : A tiny bit of a headache. Okay, t-this really needs to get fixed. How much time do we have to finish this again?

  Sam the Game Designer : [checks his watch]  Uh... Ah! Um... plenty of time. We're good.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [the Nerd turns off his C64 system]  Alright. Well, that'll get strained out. Anyway, we already took care of the LJN sports games.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : [the Nerd walks over to his C64 system and turns it on]  All right, Sam! How's the game coming?

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh, you know, it's getting there but uh, I mean there's a little bit of sprite flicker. Uh... Why don't you try it out?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [the Nerd plays the prototype game again. This time, clocks are replaced with hourglasses and there are death blocks in the stage]  Hourglasses?

  Sam the Game Designer : You said no clocks.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : No! We need something else!

  Sam the Game Designer : Sundials?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : W-w-wait. D-death blocks? Oh these remind me of something.

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh, well see that that would be, that'll be a thing called "developer difficulty", where if you are testing your own game 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and not sleeping, you get really good at it and so the game ends up like way, way harder than you think it is.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah, we need to tone down the difficulty.

  Sam the Game Designer : It's okay, okay, we got a focus group lined up. Universal has done it for us.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : W-wait, everything's flickering!

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah, that's um, that's the NES uh, the uh, I can't do too many sprites on the screen at once otherwise it starts flickering. I'm still working on the solution for that whole thing.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Okay, I can't even control which way I'm supposed to be going! Okay well, maybe, can we move on to another console?

  Sam the Game Designer : That would entail starting over from scratch.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : All right, keep it on the NES! Get it fixed!

  [the Nerd turns off his C64 system and sighs] 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Alright, let's check on Sam.

  [the Nerd gets up, walks over to the C64 system, and turns it on] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Hey, Sam! How's the game comin'?

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah, uh, she's pretty good you know all things considered I mean, the NES is a little harder to program for than I expected but you know it's, it's comin' together you can see. Well hey, why don't you try it out for yourself? It's an early build, but I think it's promising.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [the Nerd suddenly has a prototype cartridge]  Quick delivery!

  [the Nerd begins playing the prototype game. Marty is jumping through obstacles and jumping on enemies against a blue background] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Alright... okay, it's a good start. I mean we need some kind of power ups, here. So can we put Hill Valley in the background there, have some time travel, get the DeLorean up to 88?

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah, w-we got time.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Maybe have the holographic shark?

  Sam the Game Designer : Oh, totally as a boss fight!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Do we get all the actors to sign off yet?

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah, yeah, well, well, well, well, no, uh, working on it. It- It's almost there.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : It's a good start. But yeah, there's a lot left to do.

  Sam the Game Designer : Oh, let's get back to work!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : I'll check in on you again soon.

  [the Nerd turns off his C64 system] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : [the Nerd gets up, walks over to the C64 system, and turns it on]  Alright Sam, how's the game looking?

  Sam the Game Designer : Yeah this is okay, so I got the feedback from the focus group, uh the, the difficulty is too high. The game is too easy, uh, too many enemies, not enough opponents to fight with, um, somebody says that they really want hula girls and a bowling ball weapon.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : This is... Horrible! Do we even have any um, any power-ups at all now?

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh well, You said no... no hourglasses, so the time kind runs out a bit quick.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : What's happening with the music here?

  Sam the Game Designer : Okay, so we, we have the Power of Love, uh and um, well we couldn't, you know, the licensing and everything so I sped it right up, so you can't even recognize it, because I didn't have time to write a new song.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh oh, no no, you didn't, you didn't put the... .

  [grunts] 

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : The bowling ball.

  Sam the Game Designer : Since anyone knows the focus group wanted the bowling balls man, I don't know why?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Who wanted bowling balls? Oh, the flickering is... is worse, Oh, the controls are worse, Oh we, we are spiraling into the toilet here.

  Sam the Game Designer : Uh, uh just well they have you, uh we do need to nix the time travel, uh, and the Hill Valley background, uh, and a few other things just because of time constrains.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Fine! Fine! Just make it playable, make it work. How much time do we have to fix this?

  Sam the Game Designer : Okay, well the, the deadline is uh, let me take a look, two hours from now, hope you got a flux capacitor.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Alright, You got one last chance, don't fuck this up.

  [the Nerd turns off his C64 system]