- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Let me get the greeting out of the way. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Everybody. Happy Holidays, and If you have a problem with Happy Holidays, then Happy Shut the Fuck Up.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: The quickest way to do it is just type in all A's and skip to the Enter button. Why put in your name anyway? It's not like the game is gonna save it. If it did, I can guarantee most of the scores would belond to AAAA!
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: The NES just got it's 8-bit ass handed to it by the Atari 2600! Well, that's fine with me. It spares me the shitiness.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: How do you like that music? Listen. Exquisite. Isn't that the most beautiful radiant sound that has ever been blessed upon your soul? It's exhuborant tonality harmoniously blends the dying squeals of electronic goats with the melodic rapture of diarhea bubbling from a coyote's craphole.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: The graphics look like crap. Literally. It looks like they crapped into an ice maker.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: I know this is supposed to be ice, but staring at a screen that is 90% white makes me feel like I'm going blind.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: I think that all that ever needs to be said about Winter Games is "you push buttons", because that's all it is.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: You ever see a movie when someone's playing the NES and they're just mashing buttons? Yeah, they're playing Winter Games. Who programmed this? I'll bet it was Fred Fuchs!
- [first lines]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: It's winter, it's fucking cold, we're playing some Winter Games.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: What people can be sadistic enough to design a game with such a disfunctional control scheme? The only people in the world to call the ski jump "Hot Dog Aerials"!
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Is this supposed to be fun? Is this supposed to be challenging? Rocking the D-pad left and right? Was this game designed for monkeys?