Only one man can take on the challenge of stopping a band of ruthless criminals who have taken hostages (well, one) at a Denver college campus. That man is...an English professor?!? Made by a small crew and a very game cast, "To Die is Hard" trots out every cliché of the genre and then amps each one to the Nth degree. The supportive cop in cell phone-contact with the lone hero? He spends his time dancing and eating cookies. The criminal mastermind? Wears glasses, goes by the name of Anton and forces info from an innocent woman by speaking in a monotone. The gang of thugs? So evil they don't notice the shirtless stud of a teacher stalking them from some very obvious hiding places. The loving wife and daughter? Spending the day daydreaming about our hero and his sexual charisma--YES, BOTH OF THEM. Many laughs to be had, not to mention great camera-work, inspired performances, funny songs and slapping. Lots of slapping.