Paint Drying: The Movie (2009 Video) User Reviews

Don't let the name fool you, 'Paint Drying: The Movie' is a complex and thought provoking foreign film that will have you on the edge of your seat.

[classiccountrymusicwiki · 10/10 · 27 July 2015]

The movie stars Robusto (Los Muro) as a member of the Málarar with an uneven foundation, and Vernice (El Secado) as an "On the Wall" agent who sticks by Robusto.

Starting the movie in a firefight against the Vetar, a ruthless group of terrorists with advanced camouflage equipment, Robusto and Vernice must escape a failed mission, but find themselves stuck, but they are able to escape.

They go to their motorcycles and leave, but the Vetar follow them.

In the helicopter it is revealed Vernice got shot twice in the torso. She pulls out a picture of her family and stares at it.

Vernice wakes up to find the helicopter has crashed and Robusto is dead, trying to comprehend what's going on she get's up and starts walking until she collapses to the sight of her family.

"What's happening?" She managed to mumble out. Her husband looked at her and said "You let us die!" before a Vetar slit his throat. "Help us mom!" screamed her son, before getting his throat slit. "Why mommy?" cried her daughter, before getting her throat slit. She breaks down into tears "I tried to save you" she said, before she heard a baby cry. She looks up to see her baby crawling towards her, when a Vetar steps on his head and crushes it.

Luckily that was a dream.

The next day it shows Robusto and his team getting into a helicopter and ready for take-off when the Vetar attack the Málarar base. Robusto run to the the recovery section of the base and he finds Vernice on the ground bleeding out. Vernice tells him she'll be with her family and hands him her weapon "We are one." she said before dying.

The fight ends with Robusto killing Mjög with the gun Vernice gave him and getting the Data Chip, the he takes it to the building where the movie first started. He walks around before he finds a latch, e places a bomb on it and moves away so it explodes. He goes in the hole and finds a vault, he uses the Data Chip on it and it unlocks, to find nothing.

He starts laughing while grabbing his gun, he says "We are one." then commits suicide.

End.

10/10! Shout-outs to Hans Zimmer for the spectacular score and Tom Steerber for this amazing movie!

Get the Director's Cut!

[stuartk-59719 · 10/10 · 16 May 2016]

I loved this movie! But I *strongly* recommend the Director's cut, which is the full 128 minutes. They cut out a lot of stuff for the theatrical release, but every bit of it was key to the story, and totally relevant to the plot.

I will freely admit that the actors lay it on a little thick in places, but it all works out in the end.

The humor is, understandably, a bit dry, but ultimately I think that's exactly what the audience is hoping for, so it works well.

Warning: The NR rating is completely justified; there is stripping involved, but (sadly) most of it happens off-camera.

I had a feeling of what the 'big reveal was going to be, long before the ultimate un-masking, but it was a satisfying finish nonetheless.

A Complete and Absolute Work of Art Showing the Power of Humanity

[riggittey · 10/10 · 22 November 2023]

"Paint Drying: The Movie" is a cinematic masterpiece that transcends traditional storytelling, challenging the very fabric of our perception of time and art. Directed by the enigmatic auteur, Avant Garde-o Brushstroke, this film stands as humanity's magnum opus, a stroke of genius that boldly defies conventional norms in its unparalleled exploration of the mundane.

Clocking in at an epic 1 hour and 30 minutes, "Paint Drying: The Movie" dares to embrace the slow burn, quite literally, as it captures the mesmerizing process of paint drying on a blank canvas. From the opening scene, where the paint is painstakingly applied with meticulous precision, to the final frame where the drying process is meticulously documented, every moment is a testament to the director's uncompromising vision.

The film unfolds in real-time, forcing the audience to confront the often overlooked beauty in the simplest of things. Avant Garde-o Brushstroke masterfully employs a minimalist approach, eschewing dialogue, plot, and even characters in favor of the raw, unadulterated essence of drying paint. The absence of traditional narrative elements allows the viewer to immerse themselves in the meditative experience, transcending the boundaries of cinematic storytelling.

The cinematography, if it can be called that, is nothing short of revolutionary. The camera remains fixed on the canvas throughout the entire duration, capturing the subtle nuances of color changes, the evolving textures, and the gradual formation of a masterpiece in slow motion. The use of time-lapse sequences, spanning days and nights, adds an ethereal quality to the film, creating a symbiotic relationship between the paint and the passage of time.

The soundtrack, composed by Silence Symphony, is a hauntingly beautiful arrangement of ambient sounds, capturing the whispers of wind, the subtle hum of fluorescent lights, and the occasional drip of water. The absence of traditional music heightens the sensory experience, allowing the audience to become one with the canvas, lost in the contemplation of the artistic process.

One cannot overlook the audacious choice of color for the paint. Avant Garde-o Brushstroke, in a stroke of brilliance, opts for a shade of beige that transcends the ordinary. This particular hue, a subtle blend of ecru and taupe, becomes a character in its own right, challenging preconceived notions of what constitutes an engaging visual experience. The meticulous application of this avant-garde color is a testament to the director's unwavering commitment to pushing the boundaries of artistic expression.

The film's pacing, deliberate and unhurried, encourages introspection and self-discovery. As the paint gradually dries, the audience is invited to reflect on the impermanence of life, the fleeting nature of beauty, and the profound significance of the seemingly mundane. "Paint Drying: The Movie" becomes a mirror reflecting the human condition, a poignant reminder of the transitory nature of existence.

In its totality, "Paint Drying: The Movie" is not merely a film; it is an existential journey, a philosophical exploration, and a bold statement on the nature of creativity. Avant Garde-o Brushstroke has birthed a cinematic revolution, challenging us to redefine our understanding of art, time, and the human experience. As the credits roll, one is left in awe, contemplating the profundity of paint drying and the indelible mark it leaves on the canvas of our collective consciousness.

The Quintessential 5/10 Movie

[jonsefcik · 5/10 · 19 November 2017]

This movie has such a high rating because people rate it a 10 thinking its the quintessential 10/10 movie. I say different! I say this is the quintessential 5/10 movie, mostly due to my rating system.

I use a rating system from 0 to 10. I consider a 5 average, and use it as my baseline. There are two types of 5/10 movies for me: something completely average or a totally mixed bag where the good aspects about equally cancel out the bad. The latter is easy enough to understand. Paint Drying is the former. A film's achievements will raise the score and any flaws or missed opportunities to objectively improve the film will lower it. A film can be technically perfect with no flaws on the filmmaking level but if nothing noteworthy is done with the premise, characters, or presentation of said premise and characters, I'd give it a 5 since nothing was done with those tools. If you make a film called Paint Drying where the camera is turned on right after a fresh coat of paint is applied to a wall and lasts 90 minutes, the only way you could technically screw it up is if for some reason the camera wasn't pointed directly at the wall and it wasn't 90 minutes. While the movie technically didn't do anything wrong, I'd still give it a 5/10 since it didn't do anything clever or noteworthy with the idea. A more conventional example to illustrate this concept would be the Disney film The Rescuers Down Under; it has beautiful animation and there's nothing wrong with it on a technical level, but the story, characters, and tropes are largely standard and recycled. Congratulations! You made a standard, passable film that didn't really break any new ground!

Just because the director's vision was completely satisfied and they made the movie they wanted to in the exact way they wanted to, that doesn't automatically make it a 10/10 movie. I could say "I'm going to make a terrible no-budget indie slasher flick for $100 that isn't self-aware in the least" and even if I made the movie I set out to make, that doesn't automatically mean its a great movie. That would actually be a pretty terrible movie.