Smitty, a trifle deaf, believes everything corporal Winterbottom of The Old Soldiers Home tells him. He decides to be an army leader. His pals are agreeable. Vera falls for Dick who possesses a snappy military academy uniform, Smitty's cohorts, out of jealousy, gets busy and bedeck themselves in what may be termed 'uniforms.' Each soldier has a decidedly different uniform. Naturally, a battle is in the offing. A truckload of ripe tomatoes passes. Immediately heavy artillery gets going. The result is an epic carnage, rivaling such mere historical byplays as Bunker Hill, Gettysburg and Verdun.
—Anonymous