- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Greetings, infidel swine!
- Jeff Dunham: Achmed!
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: What?
- Jeff Dunham: What are you doing?
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: What do you mean, what am I doing? I am exercising what you folks call freedom of speech.
- Jeff Dunham: You don't have freedom of speech where you're from?
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Well, no, not exactly. We have freedom of speech, but the government has freedom of cutting out our tongues.
- Jeff Dunham: So that's why you're trying to become a U.S. citizen?
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: No, it is part of my master plan, to destroy America from the inside! But you did not hear it from me.