- Despite their best efforts to be the perfect couple, Barney's know-it-all attitude gets him in trouble with Robin and they are forced to ask Marshall and Lily for relationship advice.
- Barney believes that Marshall and Lily's relationship is in major trouble solely because Lily makes Marshall wash his dishes immediately instead of letting them sit in the sink. He sees it as a sign that Marshall is panty-whipped, and that he should stand up for himself. Marshall follows Barney's advice which leads to Marshall and Lily having the biggest fight of their lives. Conversely, Barney says that he and Robin never fight, with each having a technique to avoid fights. Ted doesn't believe it as Barney and Robin are the two worst people when it comes to being in a relationship. But because of the noisy neighbors Ted and Robin have - Ted and Robin using the euphemism of "playing the bagpipes" for what the neighbors are doing - Ted believes he's come up with a way to find out for sure if Barney and Robin are telling the truth. The actions of one of the couples allows the other couple to overcome their short term situation.—Huggo
- Future Ted mentions the time new upstairs neighbors moved in, and proceeded to have loud sex on a regular basis, which he euphemistically describes as "playing the bagpipes" to his children. (Past Ted even says, "Shut the bagpipes-up!".) At MacLaren's, Barney worries about Lily and Marshall divorcing after witnessing Marshall clean a dish at Lily's request. He explains that he would never give in to a demand he didn't care about (playing out several sexy scenarios with an imaginary Lily), and that he and Robin never fight. In fact, both of them pathologically avoid fighting if a conflict comes up; Barney simply leaves, while Robin gets naked.
After Marshall shows up, Barney consoles him on "how he's holding up", and Ted explains that he thinks that they are splitting up. Barney then claims that he is the "King of Relationships", and Marshall claims that he can be a good boyfriend "in his sleep". Barney then convinces Marshall that he shouldn't have to wash dishes if he doesn't mind it, by using a hypothetical situation if Barney was married to Lily. In the re-enactment, Barney treats Lily like a classic 1950's housewife, and then imagines Lily giving him a lap dance. Ted then tries to tell Marshall that Barney is completely wrong, but Marshall is thwarted by his suggestions, and even though he didn't mind before, he "hates" washing the dishes. Robin then shows up, confirming that she and Barney never fight, except for a fight pertaining to "who's more awesome". They leave for a skiing trip, and Marshall, heeding Barney's advice, decides to tell Lily he won't wash his dishes immediately. Ted warns Marshall it is a bad idea and they make a "slap bet".
She promptly kicks him out after Marshall's incoherent argument escalates into several separate issues. Ted slaps Marshall then gladly lets him stay at his apartment. While Lily and Marshall fight, Ted observes that Barney and Robin are acting suspiciously romantic, as if they were the perfect couple. Marshall then explains what happened that night when Lily kicked him out: trying to copy Barney's example, but explains them all wrong to Lily, and makes it look like that Marshall is complaining that he makes more money than she does. Then, they start fighting about everything else they disagreed on, while Lily and Marshall multiply into multiple fights. Marshall claims that it's hard to talk to Lily because she's all "eyes and boobs". Barney then gives him more advice to continue his shenanigans, and Marshall is again convinced. Ted thinks that he should just wash the dishes, but Marshall is pumped up with manhood, and storms off. Robin shows up, and she and Barney call each other disgusting nicknames, which Ted knows that Robin hates (when he tried to call her "Robsie-Wobsie", "Sherbs", and even calling himself "T-Mose").
After another night of listening to his upstairs neighbors "bagpipe," Ted goes to their door to confront them, only to find they are very old. Since Ted didn't have the heart to tell them to stop, he just had some hard candy, smiled at a few racist comments, and left. It then occurs to him how to find out what's going on with Robin and Barney. He confronts them at the bar with a secret weapon: Phil, Barney's downstairs neighbor. Phil's presence makes them admit that they fight often. It all began after being stuck together on a ski lift (on their skiing trip) during a disagreement, preventing Barney from leaving or Robin from taking her clothes off. Marshall and Lily continue to fight, and Marshall complains that Lily has stopped feeding him. By showing his frustration, he tells him that Lily made "panCAKE, and bacon STRIP".
Robin and Barney explain they had perpetrated the charade because they felt bad about being a bad couple, which they confess to Lily and Marshall. As Ted basks in his glory of being right, Lily has made dinner for herself, but it's Marshall's favorite. As Robin and Barney describe their violent and frequent fights (bag of panties in Barney closet, the tie Robin destroyed, camera in the headboard), Lily and Marshall start to appreciate how calm their own relationship is, and forgive each other immediately. Robin and Barney are perplexed by the mutual surrender, claiming that someone always has to "win" an argument, but Marshall and Lily assure them it is not a competition. When Barney and Robin leave, Lily and Marshall celebrate being the better couple. A scene is then shown of the floor below Marshall and Lily's apartment, where an old couple's chandelier is shaking violently, and bagpipes are heard.
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