- Shirley Bennett: I don't understand why you and Britta aren't together. Two good-looking white people going to school together. It just feels right.
- Jeff Winger: We're not pandas in a zoo.
- Troy: Do they do things to your butt?
- Annie Edison: No.
- Troy: Do you get paid more if they do things to your butt?
- Jeff Winger: Pierce, give me your earpiece.
- Pierce Hawthorne: I threw it away. You see, there are some things man was not meant to hear. We were designed by whatever entity you choose to hear what's in this range and this range alone. Because you know who's in this range? The people we love.
- [Leaves]
- Jeff Winger: He must have heard us call him Inspector Gadget.
- Dr. Ian Duncan: You! You did this! You've ruined the Duncan principle!
- Annie Edison: You told me to bring two subjects.
- Dr. Ian Duncan: Subjects, not Rain Man over there! Little Annie Fannie Panties in a bunch!
- Annie Edison: Oh, really? Why don't you try going to the dentist once in a while?
- Dr. Ian Duncan: Let me answer that question with another question!
- Dr. Ian Duncan: [blows raspberry]
- Dr. Ian Duncan: He's ruined the study. He's warped the Duncan Principle! Damn you, you outlying piece of datum!
- Britta Perry: Besides, aren't you like a world class expert in jibber-jabber?
- Jeff Winger: I'm a sprinter. I'm best at brief spurts of wit. With Shirley, I couldn't keep up. I'd be winded by that stoner tree.
- Annie Edison: This is really important to me, Abed. Could you please go as my friend? My really good friend?
- Abed Nadir: Well, I didn't realize we were really good friends. I figured we were really more like Chandler and Phoebe. They never really had stories together. Sure, I'll do it, Chandler.
- Garrett Lambert: Professor.
- Dr. Ian Duncan: [irritatedly] What?
- Garrett Lambert: I'm sorry, but this guy's not moving. I have classes to go to.
- Dr. Ian Duncan: Go! Fine! Go kill John Lennon again, you loser.
- Dr. Ian Duncan: The Duncan principle is simple. Namely, that the more control lost by the... Yeah, I'm gonna write this down too, actually. That's a good point. The more control lost by the ego, the more gained by the id, resulting in a surprisingly predictable emotional eruption or breaking point, known to ma and pa as a good old-fashioned tantrum.
- Troy: Hey, sorry about bailing on the psych experiment.
- Annie Edison: [exasperatedly] That was the experiment, Troy. We were testing to see how long people would wait in the room.
- Troy: Whoa.
- Abed Nadir: Oh, gotcha.
- Annie Edison: "Gotcha"? That's all you have to say?
- Abed Nadir: Yeah.
- Annie Edison: You sat in a room for 26 straight hours. Didn't that bother you?
- Abed Nadir: Yeah, I was livid.
- Annie Edison: Then why didn't you leave?
- Abed Nadir: Because you asked me to stay and you said we were friends.
- [Annie is gobsmacked]
- Dr. Ian Duncan: It's not... it's not fair! It's not fair! Why, why, why? What are you doing? Put your... stop writing! Put your pen... give me that! Get out! Get out, you dorks! Get out! You have destroyed the Duncan Principle!
- Jeff Winger: So Britta said that you did a lot of community service.
- Vaughn: Ultimate Frisbee at the Senior's Center. It is amazing.
- Jeff Winger: And what makes frisbee ultimate?
- Vaughn: [laughing] Man, if I had a nickel for every time I wished somebody asked me that.
- Britta Perry: You like vaughn, right?
- Jeff Winger: Oh, he...
- [sarcastically]
- Jeff Winger: He's very cute.
- Britta Perry: I'm just worried that he's thinking a little bit more intensely about this thing than I am. He says stuff, you know, after...
- Jeff Winger: School?
- Britta Perry: After...
- Jeff Winger: Dinner mints?
- Britta Perry: After...
- Jeff Winger: Not having sex?
- Britta Perry: [sighs exasperatedly] Ahh...
- Jeff Winger: How was that?
- Britta Perry: What? Forget that. The problem right now is that he's calling me "babe." He's trying to hold my hand. It's getting a little relationship-y. And he gave me something.
- Jeff Winger: Herpes?
- Britta Perry: No. This.
- Jeff Winger: A poem?
- Britta Perry: How do I respond to something like that? "Thank you"?
- Jeff Winger: Well, it's a very good question.
- Troy: [snotty guy voice] I'm Dr. Doogie Seacrest. I think I'm better than everyone else because I'm 40.
- Jeff Winger: I'm not 40. I can hear you through the window, morons.
- Dr. Ian Duncan: And back to the present.
- [observing Troy and Abed on CCTV monitor]
- Dr. Ian Duncan: And then there were two. Break... break.
- Troy: No, no, no! Annie! What is going on in there? Why--? What is taking so long? I've wasted all day here for you. The soul train awards were tonight. You promised butt stuff!
- [Crying]
- Dr. Ian Duncan: And he's out. We got him.
- Vaughn: You know, people underestimate the elderly, you know, but you see these guys out there and they're throwing the bee and they're just loving life. It's just inspiring.
- Pierce Hawthorne: Oh, good. Well, in that case, but if we're gonna do something, let's do it as a team. I'll get the ball rolling. Maybe he has a tiny penis.