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- Ethan Spiller: I mean, yeah, they kind of live in a bubble, but... they're fun, right?
- Harper Spiller: They don't vote, Ethan.
- Ethan Spiller: I know. What the fuck? They don't read the news.
- Harper Spiller: They don't read. It's like, what do they even talk about? Is that what happens when you're rich for too long, your brain just atrophies?
- Valentina: I mean, I'm impressed that you are even here.
- Bert Di Grasso: Why are you impressed?
- Valentina: It's a long trip from Los Angeles, and you are quite old, no?
- Albie Di Grasso: God. It just seems like the body would naturally stop getting horny once you're past the age of procreation, you know? Like at 50, you would just stop.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Fifty? Fifty's not that old.
- Albie Di Grasso: It just seems undignified.
- Bert Di Grasso: I'm still virile, by the way. I could still impregnate a woman.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Oh.
- Albie Di Grasso: No girl should have to be exposed to an old guy's junk.
- Bert Di Grasso: It's not like it was ever so beautiful to look at anyway. I mean, it's a penis. It's not a sunset.
- Valentina: This isn't your grandma's Bed & Breakfast. It's a 5 star hotel... you understand Patrizio?
- Mia: Luci, how did he find you?
- Lucia Greco: On the internet... I have a profile. Someone DM'd me once on Instagram... and offered me 50 Euros for a photo of my feet. That's when I realized I can make a lot of money... whenever I want.
- Ethan Spiller: I mean, yeah, they kind of live in a bubble, but... they're fun, right?
- Harper Spiller: They don't vote, Ethan.
- Ethan Spiller: I know. What the fuck? They don't read the news.
- Harper Spiller: They don't read. It's like, what do they even talk about? Is that what happens when you're rich for too long, your brain just atrophies?
- Ethan Spiller: It's good to have, you know, diverse friends, I guess.
- Harper Spiller: Yeah, I think we're their diverse friends. Their White-passing diverse friends.
- Harper Spiller: Also, they're so touchy-feely. Right? Like, do you notice that? It feels performative. Like, who does that?
- Ethan Spiller: Happily married couples?
- Harper Spiller: Couples that have been married for five years? No way. It feels fake.
- Cameron Sullivan: Why? Why can't you sleep?
- Daphne Sullivan: Just, like work stuff?
- Harper Spiller: Yeah, but also just... I don't know, just everything that's going on... in the world.
- Daphne Sullivan: What do you mean? What's going on?
- Harper Spiller: Oh, I don't know. Just, like, the end of the world.
- Daphne Sullivan: Oh. No, Harper!
- Cameron Sullivan: Oh, come on!
- Daphne Sullivan: The world's not ending, it's not that bad. Honestly, Cam and I don't even watch the news anymore.
- Cameron Sullivan: Yeah.
- Ethan Spiller: You don't follow the news?
- Daphne Sullivan: No.
- Ethan Spiller: What?
- Cameron Sullivan: Like, I'm just so over the whole news cycle, you know? It's... it's like, gimme a break.
- Daphne Sullivan: They're just trying to freak everybody out.
- Cameron Sullivan: Yeah. They're just polarizing society by making us glued to their apocalyptic soap opera, you know? It's like...
- Daphne Sullivan: Yeah. And even if it was as bad as they say it is, I mean what can you really do, you know?
- Cameron Sullivan: Right.
- Daphne Sullivan: We vote, we donate money. You can't obsess.
- Ethan Spiller: Hey, what is with these head things? We keep seeing them everywhere.
- Rocco: Testa di Moro.
- Ethan Spiller: Testa di Moro?
- Rocco: Yeah. Well, the story is a Moor came here a long time ago and seduced a local girl. But then she found out that he had a wife and children back home. So, because he lied to her, she cut his head off.
- Ethan Spiller: Oh.
- Cameron Sullivan: Jesus.
- Ethan Spiller: So if you put one of those outside of your house, what are you saying?
- Cameron Sullivan: If you come into my house, don't fuck my wife.
- Daphne Sullivan: It's a warning to husbands, babe. Screw around and you'll end up buried in the garden.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Dad, you gotta knock it off.
- Bert Di Grasso: Oh. What's the problem?
- Dominic Di Grasso: What are you doing? I mean, what's... the point?
- Bert Di Grasso: Flirting is one of the pleasures of life.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Do you actually think you have a chance with any of these women?
- Bert Di Grasso: Oh, don't be rude.
- Dominic Di Grasso: I'm just saying, you're 80 years old.
- Bert Di Grasso: Well, I'm still a man. And I get older and older, but the women I desire remain young. Natural, right? You can relate to that.
- Albie Di Grasso: Do you still, like, jerk off?
- Bert Di Grasso: Doctors say you need to release once a day... otherwise you get backed up.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Wait a second. Doctors say you need to jerk off once a day?
- Bert Di Grasso: That's right. That's right.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Which doctors say that?
- Bert Di Grasso: You need to drain the sack.
- Dominic Di Grasso: They say that?
- Bert Di Grasso: Mm-hmm. Common knowledge.
- Harper Spiller: Mm. Okay, so you guys don't watch the news. Um... What do you do, like, all day?
- Daphne Sullivan: Oh. Well, I mean, I'm... I'm home with the kids. I mean, mostly. Yep.
- Harper Spiller: Oh, right. Of course. Right.
- Daphne Sullivan: We do a lot of Dateline. I love it. Husbands murdering their wives. Happens a lot on vacation. Scuba diving. He'll just unplug her oxygen while she's underwater. Happens more than you think.
- Cameron Sullivan: Why... why are you looking at me?
- Harper Spiller: Why are we all looking at you?
- Cameron Sullivan: Yeah.
- Daphne Sullivan: Cameron really likes to watch macho reality TV. The guys are really ugly. Oh, my God. That sounds so bad, but they are.
- Cameron Sullivan: Honey, the people on Dateline aren't exactly attractive either.
- Daphne Sullivan: At least they're murdering each other.
- Ethan Spiller: So much content now. It's like there's billions of shows, everyone's trying to keep up. It's kinda suffocating, honestly. Yeah.
- Harper Spiller: Too much. It's too much. It's like we're all entertaining each other while the world burns, right?
- Ethan Spiller: We're all just zombies, you know, like...
- Harper Spiller: Hmm.
- Daphne Sullivan: I love a binge.
- Valentina: The hotel is for guests only. So please Antonio... escort these ladies out. I know you... I know why you're here. Not in my hotel.
- Lucia Greco: Jealous? You don't know what pleasure is, it's written on your face.
- Valentina: At least I don't have sex for money.
- Lucia Greco: Who'd pay money to have sex with you? Uptight, ugly bitch!
- Mia: I can't be with another man. I'm still in love with... Massimo.
- Lucia Greco: Don't be such a romantic. Be practical... get what you can from them while you're young.
- Ethan Spiller: Look, Cameron is the kinda guy who, if you can put up with him for five minutes, you can put up with him forever. He is consistent.
- Harper Spiller: A consistent douche?
- Ethan Spiller: Yeah. He's crazy, it's funny.
- Harper Spiller: Was he like that in college?
- Ethan Spiller: Way worse.
- Harper Spiller: Why were you even friends with him?
- Ethan Spiller: We weren't friends, we were roommates. And then, you know how it is. You kind of become friends, and now we're friends.
- Valentina: Oh, never transfer through Rome. Fiumicino always loses bags. You should have flown through Munich.
- Daphne Sullivan: So, you do employment law. So interesting.
- Harper Spiller: Mm-hmm.
- Daphne Sullivan: What is that exactly?
- Harper Spiller: Um, we, you know, we take on clients that are suing their employers for discrimination, sexual harassment, wrongful termination, stuff like that.
- Daphne Sullivan: Amazing.
- Harper Spiller: What? What is that face?
- Cameron Sullivan: No, no, no. Nothing. Just, um... We've been dealing with a bunch of bogus claims lately. I mean, everyone has.
- Harper Spiller: Ah! Hmm.
- Cameron Sullivan: I mean, even when they have zero merit and they get thrown out in summary judgment, you still have to go through all the depos and the internal investigations. It's a total time suck. Not to mention a huge waste of money. I mean... God.
- Harper Spiller: Mm. Well, they're not all bogus.