Tom Bell: Various, 'Foxy' - Tattooist, Arnold Redbridge - Breeds Tories, Ben, Bob, Brad, Brian Bradford, Brian Fisher, Captain Steele - Completed three tours of Chelsea and Westminster, Customer, Denys Finch Hatton MP - Opposed to ladies wearing trousers, Dimitri Vassilov - Senior officer & former hamburger artist, Gary, Gerald Fisher, Gerry Hamilton - Not felt joy like this for years, Hans Dracor, Headmaster, Hudson Miller - Has an alibi for January 6th, Jacob Rees-Mogg, John Price - Farmer off the Morrisons sausage packet, John Shaw - Quite like dogs, Jordan Gardiner - Bong God, Joseph Turner, Julian Cook, Julian Cook - Can't sleep at night, Kenny Japowsky, Martin Bishop, Martin Bishop - Husband, Martin Bishop - Last threw a punch in 1998, Martin Kramer, Martin Price - Daily Mail deputy editor, Matt Warrington - Should be living with parents really, Nigel Finch-Hatton - Now even more stinking rich, Oliver O'Connor - Labour MP, Reverend Simon Jones - Vicar, Simon Shaw - Guardian-y remainer types, Spud Picker, Stephen Malley, Stephen Malley - Doomed British Citizen, Stephen Malley - Lies for a massive salary, Stephen Malley - Zoologist and Starmer sceptic, Tom Booker - Bachelor by choice