- Armed Assailant #1: Now, who the hell sent you?
- Shawn Spencer: You wouldn't believe us if we told you.
- Armed Assailant #1: Yeah, try me.
- Shawn Spencer: Michael Dudikoff.
- Armed Assailant #1: Russian mob?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: American ninja you...
- Young Shawn: [1989] Hey, Dad. Can I please get a home computer? Mrs Phillips said it would help prepare me for the future.
- Henry Spencer: Sean, get your head out of the clouds. Those things are just another passing fad, like rap music, Madonna, and L.A. Law.
- Shawn Spencer: How in the hell could you not tell us about this? We are members of this team!
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: We solve a murder a week.