- Barry: I heard you can attach them to a car battery, spark it up, and get...
- Michael Westen: Torture just gets you the fastest lie to make the pain stop.
- Michael Westen: [first lines - narration] In order to prepare for a mission, it's the little things that count. Firepower is great, but an operation is more likely to be saved by a fresh set of batteries than a gun.
- Michael Westen: [narration] Like good poker players, spies know that it's impossible to hide the tells that come with a bloodstream full of adrenaline. If showing fear or concern jeopardizes a mission, you replace it with an emotion that won't.
- Michael Westen: [barking at a surprised Fiona] What the hell do you think you're doing? You think this is a tea party? Social hour is OVER!
- [clocks her right in the face]
- Michael Westen: [narration] Heists are like parties - the worst part is cleaning up. Someone has to stay behind to get rid of all the evidence. And of course, tidying after a heist calls for methods not suitable for parties.
- [massive explosion]
- Michael Westen: [narration] Nothing hurts worse than losing a friend to bullets, politics, or something personal.
- Michael Westen: Yeah, about that, you should avoid your clients for a while.
- Barry: I'm known for my customer service. Don't you think they're going to get a little suspicious if I start dodging their calls?
- Sam Axe: Dodge calls now or dodge bullets later.
- Barry: Fair enough.
- Michael Westen: I'm sorry we're using your love nest as a holding cell, Sam.
- Sam Axe: Well, I just didn't expect to be wearing pants here!
- Barry: So the cops find a car full of dirty cash, and the people who wanted my ledger get shafted for five million? It's beautiful.
- Michael Westen: Sam called Immigration, and Milovan's being deported.
- Barry: And Natalie, she just vanished?
- Michael Westen: Well, she's smart. She won't be returning anytime soon.
- Barry: Well, this clears the tab on all the debts you owe me. Thank you.
- Barry: Someone stole my ledger, Mike. The list of all my clients and the accounts where I protect their money.
- Fiona Glenanne: So what, it's like a little black book for money launderers?
- Barry: Yeah, only instead of blondes named Chloe, I've got a bunch of angry rich guys who are going to dismember me when they find out it's gone.
- Michael Westen: You keep that all written down in one place?
- Barry: Yeah, I know, it's part of my sales pitch. You keep data on a computer, it's like open season for hackers and the I.R.S., so I run things old school, you know?