Losers Take All (2011)

Billy Kay: Billy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brian : Aren't you guys excited to me moving in with us?

  Billy : Hey man, we just started dating. I don't know if Lance and I are ready to move in just yet.

• Greg Glaverman : [Watching Brian make out with Simone]  I hope Brian's wearing a rubber. Guys, if there's one thing I've learned it's that chlamydia is not a flower. It's a cotton swab the size of a majorette's baton jammed in your urethra.

  Billy : Greg... we're dudes. We don't have urethras. We have dicks. The only reason I'm in this band is for the chicks.

  Lance : Yeah. If I didn't wanna meet chicks, I'd sell furniture.

• Greg Glaverman : [Handing the boys a business card]  My name's Greg Glaverman. I manage and promote bands.

  Dave : [Looking at the card]  It says here you sell furniture, Greg.

  Greg Glaverman : That's an old card. The new ones are gonna say both.

  Billy : [Suddenly realizing]  I know you, dude! You're that guy who's always getting his ass kicked in those TV commercials!

  [the band cracks up] 

  Greg Glaverman : So... have you guys, like, cut a demo? Is there anything I could listen to? I've got a cassette player in my car, I could just pop it in.

  Dave : Are you serious?

  Lance : What's "Slamdini" like in real life?

  Greg Glaverman : He's pretty nice. We don't really talk much. I'm serious about the demo.

• Ellie : [Hands Lance a bag for a Fingers record]  Why don't you guys take this as payment? I've got to unload them before my dad gets here anyway.

  Billy : Is that weed?

  Ellie : Mushrooms.

  Greg Glaverman : [Runs by, high on cocaine]  Mushrooms? Freak out! That's hippie shit. Child's play!

  Ellie : ...is that your roadie?

  Billy : Um... something like that...

• Billy : [Taking a bong hit after listening to Greg's rehab letter]  Drugs are bad.

• [Brian and Dave approach Billy and Lance tripping on mescaline] 

  Brian : Great show guys.

  Billy : Yeah right.

  Brian : No, I... I'm serious. You guys ever thought about joining a real band?

  Dave : What real band?

  Brian : Our real band.

  Dave : [Realizing Brian's idea]  ... no... no no no no no, not these guys. They're all heavy metal and shit.

  Billy : [Scoffs]  Whatever, dude.

  Dave : Sorry...

  Brian : [to Dave]  It's okay. Why don't you just leave the staffing & sonic stylings to me, okay? I can mold these guys into our sound.

  Lance : [to Billy]  Do they know that we're, like, right in front of them?

  Billy : Who the fuck are you guys? We don't even know you!

  Brian : Look, this is Dave. He is the best bass player in the whole tri-county universe.

  Dave : [Genuinely touched]  Thanks... this is Brian. He's out of his goddamn mind.

  Brian : Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, okay? But after you lost... Gandalf on bass, I had a vision of a band that we're all in. It's not metal, it's not really punk and you know what? It doesn't suck.

  Lance : [Takes a long drag on his spliff]  So are you guys, like... on drugs or something?

  Dave : No, we're not.

  Billy : You got any more?

  Brian : ...yes.

• Greg Glaverman : [Watching Brian make out with Simone]  Hey, wait a minute, I know that girl.

  Billy : [Drunk, surprised]  You do? How?

  Greg Glaverman : She's like punk rock royalty.

  Lance : So how do you know her?

  Greg Glaverman : Well, her boyfriend's Miles Monroe.

  Lance : I'm thinking maybe they broke up.

  Billy : Who the hell is Miles Monroe?

  Greg Glaverman : He started Miles Per Hour Records.

  [Billy and Lance are blank] 

  Greg Glaverman : Miles Per Hour Records? One of the best indies in the country? It's right here in town! It's the label you guys wanna be on.

  Billy : Warner Bros is the label I wanna be on. With Van Halen.

  Lance : Yeah, yeah... and whatchimacallit, uh... Düsker Hü.