- Narrator: That was the year I got left at the altar. It was the year I got knocked out by a crazy bartender. The year I got fired. The year I got beat up by a goat, a girl goat at that. And dammit, if it wasn't the best year of my life. Because if any one of those things hadn't happened, I never would have ended up in what turned out to be the best job I ever had. But more importantly, I wouldn't have met your mother. Because, as you know, she was in that class. Of course that story is only just beginning.
- Barney Stinson: Say you and I went suit shopping. And you happened upon a beautiful suit. A beautiful Canadian suit. Double breastet, uh-uh-uh. You try it on, but it's not exactly the right fit for you, so you put it back. Then I try it on. I don't really wanna take the same suit that you had your eye on, but at the same time, I really like that suit.
- Ted Mosby: Buy the suit, Barney. You clearly care about it. Tell the suit how you feel.
- Lily Aldrin: You want a reason? I'll give you a reason. I'm pregnant.
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Are... Really? Lily, I mean I noticed you've gained some weight lately, but I didn't...
- Lily Aldrin: I was lying, you jerk! Go ahead and jump. I hope you die!
- Marshall Eriksen: That's all the permission I need.
- Ted Mosby: [after being rejected from yet another job] This is a disaster. How am I gonna come back from this?
- Lily Aldrin: Okay, I'm just gonna ask this. Do you really wanna come back from this?
- Ted Mosby: What's that supposed to mean?
- Lily Aldrin: Architecture is killing you, Ted, and it's killing us to watch it killing you. You're like that goat with the washcloth. You want it so bad, and every time the world tries to take it away from you, you keep grabbing it! But you know what? It's just a washcloth. Why do you even want it?
- Ted Mosby: Because I... I have to be an architect! That's... that's the plan.
- Lily Aldrin: Oh, screw the plan. I planned on being a famous artist. Marshall planned on being an environmental lawyer, Robin planned on being a TV reporter.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Uh, I *am* a TV reporter. I'm on every morning at 4 AM.
- Lily Aldrin: Is that still on? Good for you.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Can somebody watch it, please?
- Lily Aldrin: Barney planned on being a violinist.
- Barney Stinson: Lily!
- Lily Aldrin: Don't tell me things! Look, you can't design your life like a building. It-it doesn't work that way. You just have to live it, and it'll design itself.
- Ted Mosby: So, what, I should just do nothing?
- Lily Aldrin: No, listen to what the world is telling you to do, and take the leap.
- Barney Stinson: [about the inflatable pool on Ted's roof] No, no, no! This is not pimped out. If anything, this is pimped in.
- Lily Aldrin: [about Robin going to dump Barney] Oh, man! You're going to break its... whatever it is that pumps that black sludge through his veins.
- Barney Stinson: Why are you so afraid of giving us a chance?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Because I am scared of how much I like you.
- Barney Stinson: Ohh, this is a bad idea.
- Robin Scherbatsky: You're right. This is a mistake.
- Barney Stinson: Yes... No!
- Robin Scherbatsky: I love you.
- Barney Stinson: Let's be friends.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Okay, friends then.
- Barney Stinson: I love you.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Ah... Let's get married!
- Barney Stinson: No! You're smothering me!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Okay, forget it!
- Barney Stinson: Gaah!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Gaah!
- [They kiss]
- Ted Mosby: I don't wanna be stuck in a crappy teaching job. No offense, Lily.
- Lily Aldrin: I got peed on three times today, so no argument here.
- Marshall Eriksen: I could totally jump that.
- Ted Mosby: Marshall, lately it takes you two tries to get off the couch. You can't jump that far.
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, yeah?
- Ted Mosby: Yeah.
- Marshall Eriksen: Watch me.
- Narrator: But he didn't jump.