The Addams Family (TV Series)

Happyester Fester (1992)

Nancy Linari: Morticia Addams

Quotes 

• Gomez Addams : [looking at an empty seat]  You know, Tish, dinner just isn't the same without Fester.

  Morticia Addams : He'd sit here after he was one, smiling and dabbing his mouth.

  Gomez Addams : And then he'd belch and blow out a window or two!

• Wednesday Addams : I haven't seen uncle Fester since he staked himself to the anthills.

  Morticia Addams : I know, dear, but something was bothering him even then - those screams were half-hearted and I didn't hear his usual joyous cackle.

• Morticia Addams : Do you think Uncle Fester's all right, dear? He's been down in the basement for almost a week now.

  Gomez Addams : Well, you know how these geniuses are, always working on something.

  Morticia Addams : Yes. But he was so upset for not selling his last invention. And he had such a high hope for his lint wigs.

  [an explosion occurs] 

  Uncle Fester : [appearing from a door]  Oh boy! I hit the jack pot! Excuse me a minute.

  [ducks back in for another explosion] 

  Uncle Fester : [laughing]  I didn't want to miss the afterblast!

• Gomez Addams : Follow me, Fester! I know just who to talk to about your new invention!

  Morticia Addams : Au revoir, darling!

  Gomez Addams : [excited]  Cara Mia! You spoke French!

  [picks up both of Morticia's hands] 

  Gomez Addams : This one. No, no! No, no! No. This one! No, no! No! This one!

  Morticia Addams : What's wrong, darling?

  Gomez Addams : I can't make up my mind! Both arms are so beautiful!

• Morticia Addams : Fester, aren't you the modest one! You didn't tell us Happyester was itchy!

  Uncle Fester : Oh, it's just one of those extras I threw in, you know. Wait until they try to wash 'em. That's when the shrimp eggs kick in!

• Gomez Addams : Gadzooks and goodnights! Fester has invented a new fabric! It's bulletproof, self-cleaning...

  Uncle Fester : And it tastes good with dip, too!

  Wednesday Addams : Congratulations, Uncle Fester!

  Morticia Addams : Isn't it exciting, Fester? Your first successful invention!

  Uncle Fester : I call it Happyester, after Happydale Heights, our fine city!

• Morticia Addams : Oh, isn't that sweet! Fester is helping that nice Mr. Normanmeyer with his questions!

  Uncle Fester : [at the press conference]  You see, nobody wanted Happyester, but not my pal! Uh-Uh! He was determined that every man, woman and child in America have itchy legs, shrimpy shorts and scratchy pants!

• [Pugsley throws food at his father] 

  Morticia Addams : Dear, where are your manners?

  Pugsley Addams : Sorry, Mom.

  Morticia Addams : You forgot the gravy!

  Pugsley Addams : Oh, yeah. Eh, sorry, Dad!

  [throws gravy at his father] 

  Gomez Addams : Ah! Crunchy, just the way I like it!