- Michael Scott: I didn't find the perfect moment, because I think today was about just having today. And I think we are one of those couples with a long story when people ask how we found each other. I will see her every now and then, and maybe one year, she'll be with somebody, and the next year, I'll be with somebody and it's gonna take a long time. And then it's perfect. I'm in no rush.
- [trying to stall the game until Pam returns]
- Dwight Schrute: How many people need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four?
- David Wallace: Dwight...
- Dwight Schrute: No, no. Hear me out. Five? Six?
- David Wallace: Dwight.
- Dwight Schrute: Seven? Can I finish, please?
- David Wallace: Okay.
- Dwight Schrute: Eight?
- Dwight Schrute: Normally, I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.
- Michael Scott: [Hears everyone laughing] What's so funny?
- Pam Beesly: You had to be there.
- Michael Scott: Oh, a geography joke.
- Dwight Schrute: Rolf is my best friend. We met in a shoe store. I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed and not leave any tracks.
- Pam Beesly: Tell them what happened last year.
- Jim Halpert: I had this huge spider in my baseball mitt.
- Pam Beesly: No, no, that guy who hit on me.
- Jim Halpert: Oh, right. Some drunk guy hit on Pam last year. Said he was grabbing her for balance.
- Pam Beesly: [Pointing to her breasts] Yeah, you don't grab *these* for balance.
- Jim Halpert: [considering] Well...
- David Wallace: [after Scranton scores a point] Nicely done. We're still gonna crush you, though.
- Charles Miner: Yes, we are!
- Rolf: You suckers are going down! They're gonna wipe their asses with your serves... and *piss* all over your faces!
- Michael Scott: Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I'm going to tell her. Number one, "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." And the reason is because in terms of the soup, we like to... That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.
- [about her volleyball skills]
- Pam Beesly: Maybe I played a little in junior high and in high school. Maybe a little in college. And went to volleyball camp most summers!
- Phyllis Vance: Ow, my ankle!
- Dwight Schrute: What happened?
- Phyllis Vance: I... twisted it.
- Dwight Schrute: You weren't even moving!
- Angela Martin: Rolf, did you not hear me?
- Rolf: I don't hear cheaters, tramps or women who break my friend's heart.