- Simon Ferguson: [about Brookes Jenson] I met him years ago at a Warhol party. Actually, he was walking in as I was being escorted out by a large glittering man. At least I think he was a man.
- Simon Ferguson: [to Hadley] How can you refuse me? Why am I here if not to support you?
- Rose: The term 'free rent' comes to mind?
- Simon Ferguson: [as Simon faces Rose] I'm gonna set aside some time tomorrow to chuckle at that, but right now, I'm really busy.
- Rose: Mr. Jenson, we couldn't get the soup stains out of your coat, but, we did find your fountain pen, which exploded in your pants, which we couldn't get out either, so basically, I have nothing for you.
- Robert McSwain: Hey, if you've got some time today, come down to the club and we'll go spank the shuttlecock.
- Yorgo Galfanikos: [takes a deep breath] Goof afternoon. I am Yorgo Galfanikos. Welcome to my new cooking show "What's in Yorgo's pot?" Today we will be making boulia base. Of course, all my recipes are a secret, so here we go! First you add one quarter cup of... something. Next, you add two table spoons, well rounded, not heaping, of... something else. I hope you're taking notes!