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- [opening lines]
- Darkwing Duck: The city of St. Canard is home to a thousand criminals, but not one dares make a move. For this city has a shadowy guardian, who hunts them like a phantom in the darkness. I am that guardian. I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares. I am Darkwing Duck! And I am... totally board out of my skull! What is it? Are all the crooks on vacation? Is there some criminal holiday I don't know about?
- [Gosalyn fires Darkwing's gas gun at Moliarty, who proceeds laughing and firing his bazooka faster]
- Darkwing Duck: Laughing gas? You shoot a mad man with laughing gas?
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: Well, it wasn't labeled.
- Launchpad McQuack: Well, at least now he's a happy mad man.
- [opening lines]
- Darkwing Duck: The city of St. Canard is home to a thousand criminals, but not one dares make a move. For this city has a shadowy guardian, who hunts them like a phantom in the darkness. I am that guardian. I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares. I am Darkwing Duck! And I am... totally board out of my skull! What is it? Are all the crooks on vacation? Is there some criminal holiday I don't know about?
- Darkwing Duck: Don't get discouraged, Launchpad. It seems only yesterday that we escaped a trap every bit as threatening as this.
- Launchpad McQuack: I don't know. Being eaten alive by slugs sorta stands out in my mind as being unique.
- Darkwing Duck: [sighs] I suppose it does get points for imagination.
- Darkwing Duck: It's going to take all of us to distract the moles and shut down the Kineto Beam.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [joyful] All of us?
- Darkwing Duck: No, everyone except you. Yes, all of us!
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [excited] Yahoo-!
- [Darkwing clamps her beak shut]
- Darkwing Duck: [urgently] I thought keeping the element of surprise would be nice.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [quieter] Right, surprise...
- [closing lines]
- Darkwing Duck: One more evil plot foiled. I have to admit, you were a real help, Gosalyn.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: Yeah, I know. That's why I should have a neat name too... like the Masked Mallard or the Scarlet Quackette.
- Darkwing Duck: What?
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [as Darkwing growls] And my own costume, maybe orange and yellow. What do you think, Launchpad?
- Launchpad McQuack: I like orange.
- Darkwing Duck: Absolutely not! This is not going to become a habit.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: Dad, that's not fair!
- Darkwing Duck: You're going to stay home where it's safe.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: I can take care of myself.
- Darkwing Duck: You can't even take care of your room!
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [gasps] That's a cheap shot!
- Darkwing Duck: Ha! The daring Darkwing Duck defies death yet again and defeats the despicable denizens of darkness.
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: [hugging him] Oh, Dad...