Stargirl (TV Series)

Summer School: Chapter Four (2021)

Neil Hopkins: Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock, Sportsmaster

Quotes 

• Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : I always felt like we were on the road to becoming good friends, but what happened?

  Pat Dugan : I don't know, yeah. I mean, I kind of felt that way myself. I think the fact that you tried to kill me, that might have kind of put a damper on the friendship, but who knows, you know? Relationships are funny, right?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Fair point.

• Pat Dugan : How's prison? Is it, uh, scary, or is it, uh, kind of fun like "The Shawshank Redemption"?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : The what?

  Pat Dugan : Oh, just a movie.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Cell's a little small. Gym's great. I got visitation rights with the missus.

  Pat Dugan : Oh. So, you keep up with any of your old ISA colleagues? Any of the... any of the gang?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Who's left? That putz, the Gambler? Listen, truthfully, pal, ISA, me and the wife, we never really fit in. I mean, Jordan was a good guy, few colors short of a rainbow, but the rest of 'em, I do not miss.

  Pat Dugan : So, none of the old gang, huh? Not even the Shade?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : The Shade?

  Pat Dugan : Yeah.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Haven't seen that tea-sucking scone gobbler in years. I never liked him, either. He was not a team player. You know, he made fun of my cleats, but he worse these ridiculous top hats. And those... what do you call 'em? The scarves?

  Pat Dugan : Ascots. They're called ascots.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Ascots.

  [laughing in amusement] 

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Ascots. Hey, you want to know about bad, bad guys? I gotta tell you what the Dragon King did to the Wizard's body. Oh, my God. It's gonna gross you out.

• Artemis Crock : Hi, Dad.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : How you doing, Artie?

  Artemis Crock : I can't stay in that foster home anymore. Macaroni and cheese, bunk beds, basic cable, no Football Sunday pass.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Animals.

  Artemis Crock : Tryouts are Wednesday. Coach Morrison's coming in from Lincoln.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : The Big Ten. Sweetie, you are gonna crush it.

  Paula Brooks : You're gonna be great.

  Artemis Crock : I don't know.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Hey, look at me. You're the best in the state.

• Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : We didn't come back to town for revenge on you and the Scooby Gang.

  Pat Dugan : So what do you want?

  Paula Brooks : Our daughter has tryouts today. We can't miss that.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : We can't, can we, babe?

  Paula Brooks : Here's the deal: you help us lay low until tryouts this afternoon, and we'll break back into prison afterwards without incident.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Right after our daughter kills it... on the field.

  Pat Dugan : Are you kidding me right now?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Scout's honor. So you can hold onto that little wrench if you want. Heck, I'll even give you a head start over to S.T.R.I.P.E., and we can do this the old-fashioned way, or we can be friends, buds. I mean, you wouldn't want the world to know about your little robot, would you?

  Pat Dugan : [putting the wrench down]  Okay. Let's go watch some football.

• Pat Dugan : Crusher, what are you doing here?

  Paula Brooks : [dropping down from the ceiling]  We.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : You really stuck that landing.

  Pat Dugan : You break out of prison and you come straight back to your hometown?

  Paula Brooks : We left a decoy trail of breadcrumbs obvious enough for even the stupid cops to follow. They should be halfway to Miami by now.

• Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Hiya, sport.

  Mike Dugan : Hey, yourself. I-I'd love to stay and catch up, but I still got papers to deliver, and today is collection day.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Oh.

  Mike Dugan : I'm living off tips, you know, what can I say?

  Paula Brooks : Here's a tip. Don't try and run from us, 'cause you can't.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : That's a good tip.

• Eclipso : Artemis Crock will be yours to use.

  [on the field, Artemis's eyes glow as she's put under his influence] 

  Courtney Whitmore : [approaching the stands looking for Pat]  Are you kidding me? The Crocks?

  Artemis Crock : [seeing a SWAT tactical team surrounding her parents]  No!

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : [she runs toward them]  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing, honey?

  Artemis Crock : [tackling one]  Stay away from them! They did nothing wrong! They did nothing wrong, you hear me?

  [as her teammates pull her off, she realizes it's just Courtney] 

  Artemis Crock : [looking around]  What? Where'd they go?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Well, that really got away from her, didn't it?

• Pat Dugan : [watching Artemis' long touchdown throw]  That was, like, a 40-yard pass.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : She's a trip, ain't she, bud?

• Artemis Crock : So then you're not innocent? Why didn't you tell me before?

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Well, we were going to, but...

  Paula Brooks : But you have your own dreams.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : Yeah. I mean, you're gonna be the first female quarterback in the history of college football! My girl is.

  Artemis Crock : But the only reason I did so well today was because you guys were here.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : No, no. The reason that you crushed it today is because of you.

  Paula Brooks : You've got a future now. We're not gonna let anything get in the way of that. Including us.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : This has to be goodbye.

• Pat Dugan : [at Artemis' football tryouts]  We sit down, you watch, stay quiet.

  Lawrence 'Crusher' Crock : As a mouse.

  Pat Dugan : And then you go back. No funny business.

  Paula Brooks : None. Your wife is lovely, by the way.

  Pat Dugan : I know that. Sit.