- A broken hearted college student meets three pick-up artists in Washington Square Park and decides to write his senior thesis on the Darwinist courting techniques of these self-dubbed "Park Sharks."
- Washington Square Park: an urban refuge of tranquility, entertainment, and social gatherings. Yet, beneath its surface, lies something more: a breeding ground for squirrels, pigeons, dogs - and humans. Indeed, within a former bohemian Mecca for Bob Dylan, Jackson Pollack, & Allen Ginsberg looms an outdoor pick-up scene where the nuance of sexual seduction is displayed on a daily basis. Enter: STEVE. With college graduation fast on approach, Steve's been coldly dumped by his long-time girlfriend. Pondering the stress of his break-up and looming senior thesis, he escapes to historic Washington Square Park, where he soon stumbles upon a "sea of girls," or, more importantly -- a subculture of "Park Shark" pick-up artists who prey on them. Hit by inspiration, Steve quickly devises the perfect thesis topic: a social research study on the Darwinist aspects of outdoor courting techniques. His subjects: a trio of Park Sharks (*Jared, Louis, and Ozzie). Portraying himself the impartial observer, our heartbroken student soon has a goldmine of information on techniques men use to manipulate the female mind. Soon, an odd twist is thrown into the mix upon discovery of a curious new species roaming the land, namely ~a Lesbian pick-up artist. Before long, Steve becomes obsessed with his new subject and a whirlwind of chaos unfolds that threatens to destroy the entire social fabric of the park. What evolves is a dangerous study in mankind's finest...and lowest.—Steven Lesser
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