- Emily Lightman: No, we're not doing this. You just go let Dan in while I finish getting ready and you better not do some covert scientific technique to find out what we're doing or not doing tonight. Promise!
- Cal Lightman: No covert science, I promise.
- [opens front door]
- Cal Lightman: Hi Dan!
- Dan: Hi Dr. Lightman!
- Cal Lightman: Are you going to try and have sex with my daughter tonight?
- Cal Lightman: What is that?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: Chocolate pudding.
- Cal Lightman: Who eats pudding at ten o'clock in the morning?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: People who like pudding.
- Cal Lightman: Well we all pay for sex one way or another. At least hookers are honest about the price.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: [Sucking a drink through a straw]
- Cal Lightman: What is that now?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: Orange Slushee.
- Cal Lightman: How old are you?
- Ria Torres: What am I supposed to believe about you?
- Cal Lightman: [shrugging] You can believe whatever you want. It's what everybody else does.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: We'll need the crime-scene photos and the autopsy report.
- AUSA Hutchinson: I thought you could tell if somebody was lying just by looking at them.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: The question is never simply if someone is lying; it's why.
- Eli Loker: Here's the analysis from the blinking experiment.
- Cal Lightman: Are you just getting in, Loker?
- Eli Loker: [Practicing Radical Honesty] Yeah, I got pissed drunk last night with my roommate, and I was just lying in bed this morning thinking about how nasty hot Nancy Grace is, and just trying to decide if I was going to come in at all, 'cause it's not like there's anyone here to fantasize about.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: No offense taken.
- Eli Loker: I don't go for married women.
- Cal Lightman: I guess we're all here, then: someone who wants the truth, someone who wants to be right, and us - the idiots in the middle.
- Cal Lightman: You're a terrible liar.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: Normal people think that's a good thing.
- Cal Lightman: Are you saying I'm not normal?
- Cal Lightman: What is that?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: [Eating pudding] Chocolate pudding.
- Cal Lightman: Who eats pudding at 10 in the morning?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: People who like pudding.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: Six years ago, Dr Lightman left the deception-detection program he founded for the Defense Department. Together, we started a private firm that works with police, corporations, and almost every Federal agency. We'd like you to come work for us, Ms Torres.
- Ria Torres: Why?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: You've made seven times more arrests than the average TSA agent, and you scored 97% on the TSA deception diagnostic, which Dr Lightman created.
- Cal Lightman: Have you ever had any specialized deception training?
- Ria Torres: I've dated a lot of men.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: You're one of the naturals. There's an infinitesmal percentage of the population, less than .001, that test nearly perfect without any advanced training.
- Cal Lightman: [to Gillian] Politician. That's all you. Charge him by the lie. You can retire tomorrow.
- DNC Chairman Baldridge: So Dr. Lightman just assumes you're a liar if you're a politician?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: He assumes you're a liar if you're a homo sapien.
- Dr. Gillian Foster: I'm telling you: we cannot wait another day to hire someone. I found the one. This is the one.
- Cal Lightman: [shakes his head and grunts]
- Dr. Gillian Foster: Use your words.
- Cal Lightman: Why do we need to hire someone?
- Dr. Gillian Foster: We got a new request this morning from the DEA and Homeland Security. Someone from the Prime Minister's office in Uzbekistan called; they want us to give a talk to their senior police.
- Cal Lightman: Tell them to call back when they get a constitution - a real one.