Rugrats (TV Series)

Mommy's Little Assets/Chuckie's Wonderful Life (1994)

Michael Bell: Drew Pickles, Chas Finster

Quotes 

• Drew : Where's your mother?

  Angelica : She's in the shower. She says she has to wash away the stench of failure.

  Drew : Uh-oh...

• Charlotte Pickles : Look, Drew. We're both successful executives, we can solve this. Let's brainstorm. What about Betty and Howard?

  Drew : Nah, they took the twins to the big tractor pull.

  Charlotte Pickles : Hmmm. They spoil those kids. Chas?

  Drew : He went to a therapist's convention.

  Charlotte Pickles : Chas isn't a therapist.

  Drew : I know. He's hoping to find one.

  Charlotte Pickles : Well, don't we know any sitters?

  Drew : Well, yeah, but for some reason, we have trouble getting anyone to come back a second time.

• Charlotte Pickles : All right, all right, all right. Why don't I just take them to work with me?

  Drew : Are you sure?

  Charlotte Pickles : They're good kids. I'm an organized 90's mom. How hard could it be?

• [in an alternate reality, Chas is single and talking to a sock for company] 

  Chas Finster : Sockie? Yeah?... I wish you were real. Me too.

• Angelica : Daddy, how come cousin Tommy is staying with us today?

  Drew : Well, honey, your Grandpa's off fishing, and Uncle Stu and Aunt Didi are taking a little vacation.

  Angelica : How come?

  Drew : Well, I guess sometimes grown-ups need to be by themselves for a while.

  Angelica : How come?

  Drew : Because they don't always want children around when they're doing grown-up things.

  Angelica : How come?

  Drew : Because... Well, I have no idea, sweetheart, it's a mystery.

• Charlotte Pickles , Drew : [When Drew and Charlotte leave for work, but return when they realize they don't have a sitter for Tommy and Angelica]  I thought you...

  Charlotte Pickles : Honey, you know I'm staging a takeover of Famous Ethel's cookie company.

  Drew : Well, I'm bungee-jumping with the CEO of Cybersystems International. I can't take the kids up on the balloon with me, can I?

• Chas Finster : [from offscreen]  So what do you want to do now Socky?

  [in a high pitched voice] 

  Chas Finster : I don't know Chas what do you think we should do?

  Chuckie Finster : Who's my dad talking to?

  Chuckie's Angel : Chuckie, you may not like what you're about to see

  Chas Finster : [walks in holding a sock puppet and speaking for Socky]  We could just watch C-SPAN. They're showing the proceedings of the house, ways and means committee today

  Chuckie Finster : [shocked]  My dad is talking to a sock!

  Chuckie's Angel : Who else would he talk to? You don't exist, remember?

  Chuckie Finster : I'd better go play with him

  [runs towards him but passes through him] 

  Chuckie Finster : Hey my hand goes right through him!

  Chuckie's Angel : Of course

  Chuckie Finster : But how come?

  Chuckie's Angel : I already told you, Chuckie.

  [points at him] 

  Chuckie's Angel : You do not exist! People in this world can't see you, they can't hear you, and they definitely can't play with you.

  Chuckie Finster : [disappointed]  Oh

  Chas Finster : Hey, I know, Socky! Let's start on that 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle!

  [as Socky] 

  Chas Finster : No, Chas, I'm not very good at jigsaw puzzles. I don't have any hands.

  [as himself] 

  Chas Finster : Well, C-SPAN it is, then. Socky?

  [as Socky] 

  Chas Finster : Yeah?

  [as himself] 

  Chas Finster : I wish you were real.

  [sadly as Socky] 

  Chas Finster : Me, too.

• Howard DeVille : [crying as Phil and Lil trash their house and break their stuff]  What should we do Chaz?, what should we do?

  Chas Finster : You should consider yourself lucky, I wish I had a kid, even a terrifyingly destructive one

  [pulls out Socky and speaks as him] 

  Chas Finster : But he doesn't he's all alone!

  [they all break down and cry] 

• [Chas opens his front door to an angry Drew squeezing Angelica's wrist very tightly] 

  Drew Pickles : I'm afraid we owe you an apology, Chas. I discovered Angelica throwing...

  [holds up Chas' CD] 

  Drew Pickles : ... *this* around her room, and since you're the only one I know who listens to Latvian folk dances, I figured it was yours.

  [hands it to Chas] 

  Charles "Chas" Finster : [happily holds his CD]  I *wondered* what happened to this!

  Drew Pickles : [firmly]  Now, what do you *say*, Angelica?

  Angelica Pickles : [sadly]  Sorry, Mr. Finster.

  Drew Pickles : [takes Angelica home]  And she's not gonna get dessert for a whole week!

  Angelica Pickles : What?