Let's cut to the chase: I hate it. This is awful. It's poorly made to the point of astonishment.
Music written for the movie is almost serviceable, but tiresomely repetitive; songs that appear on the soundtrack are appallingly sterile, soulless, auto-tuned garbage. The direction is completely flat and meaningless. The sequencing is dubious. The acting is empty and absolutely amateurish. The dialogue is utterly rotten. The scene writing is trite tripe. All but one of the characters are dull, witless, unsympathetic, and unlikable. Few "stunts" can even be meaningfully described with those words; at least the "effects," while transparent, are suitable. The fundamental image to greet our eyes is so direly bereft of any processing, any effort to foster a sense of "production values," that it's almost painful to behold. The pacing even within individual scenes is all but lifeless, and the word "saunter" tends to suggest too much activity in terms of the plot development for too much of the length. There may have been workable ideas for the narrative in the broad strokes, yet writing beyond the root premise or a general outline continually proves itself to be unpracticed. Barely has the picture begun and it's evident that there will be no thrills forthcoming, nor basic excitement or rudimentary engagement. 'Satan's servant' is rubbish, the type of fare that immediately induces one as a knee-jerk reaction to call for its participants to be barred from film production. There's a part of me that hopes those involved grow in their skills and move on from this, but a part of me also agrees with the idea of blacklisting them all.
I thought Uncork'd Entertainment was the bottom of the barrel as far as production companies go, worse than even The Asylum, or maybe "Justice For All Productions" (they who were behind 'A karate Christmas miracle'). Add "Screenager Productions" to that list. This is tepid, incompetent, vacuous, hollow, insipid, unprofessional, putrescent, aggravating, boring, feeble, simple-minded, unbelievable, unconvincing, lackluster, and downright excruciating. I will grant that everyone has to start somewhere; maybe the folks who created this will indeed go on to illustrate capabilities that have improved since their "effort" here. Be that as it may, here's one problem with the Age of the Internet: unworthy work put out by those with little or no experience, and whose extant abilities are - to be kind - untrained, can nevertheless have the means to disseminate that work for mass consumption. I mean no offense to up-and-comers when I say that material like this should not be available for one and all to see. It might be something to look back on as they develop their skills, it might be a souvenir for those who had a hand in making it - and it might put off financiers, actors, and other filmmakers, or anyone else who comes upon it, from ever agreeing to hire those involved, or to participate in other projects with them. Remember how Stanley Kubrick accordingly tried to remove his first feature, 'Fear and desire,' from cultural history? Think of how many filmmakers or actors turned out one especially woe-begotten product and were soon after never heard from again.
There were, truly, workable ideas in the broad strokes of the narrative, including the climax. Actor Josephine Thompson - though bound by the perplexingly weak writing and direction - is the one person on hand to show a glimmer of genuine if uncultivated skill. Within those two sentences are the nearest things I can offer as "praise" while describing 'Satan's servant.' Usually I'd at least say "they were making a sincere effort," but in all honesty, given some of the writing and direction here, I don't know if even that is true. Please, take the advice of someone who will watch anything, anything at all, who sat to watch this, and who deeply regrets that decision: this 2021 film is intensely stale, toothless, and wearisome. Do not watch it. If there is any good that can come of my misery, let it be that no one will share in it.
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