Comedy Central Roasts (TV Series)

Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget (2008)

Bob Saget: Self

Quotes 

• Bob Saget : Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

• Bob Saget : They say the measure of a man is judged by the company he keeps.

  [pause; Bob looks around] 

  Bob Saget : I'm fucked.

• Bob Saget : Norm MacDonald. Norm, you're the funniest man I know. Because these are the other people that I know.

• Bob Saget : Even John's dick has a great hairline. On "Full House," John's dick had a mullet.

• [last lines] 

  Bob Saget : Fuck you all and suck my hundred million dollar cock!

• Bob Saget : Norm is such a horrible gambler, he bet Jon Lovitz would be funny tonight.

• Bob Saget : In the '80s, there were two things every actress wanted to be on: "The Love Boat" and John Stamos' cock. Neither helped your career, but at least "The Love Boat" didn't try to fuck you in the ass.