- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: [at ComicCon '08] Okay, you're not dressed as anything.
- ComicCon attendee: No.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: You like superheroes though?
- ComicCon attendee: Yeah.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Yeah, you're obviously, looks to me like you're a fan of the Fantastic Four food groups!
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: [at ComicCon '08] I love these people. These are my people, they really are. You know? They're into the comic books, I, I, for years I used to love reading comic books. Then I turned seven.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: [at ComicCon '08] What are you supposed to be?
- Waluigi Cosplayer: Waluigi.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Oh no. Okay, this is what's known as "lowering the bar".
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Now we've got the Joker here...
- Joker Cosplayer: [laughing maniacally] Yeah.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Sorry, folks, this guy is still getting adjusted to west coast time. He's three hours behind his normal masturbating schedule.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: There's nothing funnier than seeing the lame puppeteer too! This a great thing, I kid, I kid. I just want to know, um, just clear up one thing for me: If you're HERE, who's home disappointing your parents?
- Man With Puppet: [chuckles]
- [talking as the puppet]
- Man With Puppet: Uh, I don't know, you got me.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: I was talking to, I was talking to, you're MUCH cooler.
- Man With Puppet: My parents are dead.
- [Triumph stares him down for several seconds; finally the man licks Triumph's nose]