Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box (2009)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Harper : I hate to say it, but Chelsea's right.
Charlie Harper : You don't hate it.
Alan Harper : Did I say I hate to say it? What I meant to say was, "I can't wait to say it".
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Charlie Harper : You know, there was a time it would have worked.
Alan Harper : Yes, with your silicone simpletons. But, Chelsea is too smart for your crap.
Charlie Harper : Yeah. Plus, there's no silicone in those babies.
Alan Harper : Darn. I owe Berta five bucks.
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Charlie Harper : [Gives Chelsea a key] Here.
Chelsea : What is it?
Charlie Harper : Alan's house key.
Chelsea : Why?
Charlie Harper : I want you to move in with me. Plus, Alan pissed me off last night.
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Charlie Harper : I tried, Alan. I really tried.
Alan Harper : Yes, you did. You gave it a whole...
[looks at watch]
Alan Harper : ... hour and twenty minutes. Hey! Now Berta owes *me* five bucks!
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Charlie Harper : What happened to my towels?
Chelsea : They didn't match my shower curtain.
Charlie Harper : What's wrong with *my* shower curtain?
Chelsea : It didn't match your towels.
Charlie Harper : Maybe that's how I tell them apart!