The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

Dennis the Menace (SNES) (2020)

James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Hey, Mr. Wilson! Ya fuck!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : More like Den-ASS the Men-ASS!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : This game sucks my ass with a shopvac! It rivals torture devices like the rack, the pendulum, and the iron fuckin' maiden! And if I ever have to play this shit again, I'll cut my fuckin' hands off! I'd rather be waterboarded with week-old diarrhea! I'd rather deliberately give myself splinters on my scrotum and then tear them out with my teeth! I'd rather snort a line of piss-caked cat litter than ever let this game soil my Super Nintendo again! Fuck every single thing about this game! And fuck everyone who made it! Fuck everyone who played it too, like myself!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : First off, when the fuck did this even happened in the movie? I'll admit, I haven't seen every episode of the cartoon, the sitcom, or read every panel of the comic strip, but I really don't remember ever seeing Dennis running around a sewer filled with shit snot, and demonic heads barfing out water. There's even ninja turtles. I'm not kidding. Dennis the Menace is fighting ninja turtles in the sewer. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Alright, let's start this garbage up. You notice how I already declared it garbage before the review even begins? Yeah, that means we already hit bottom. Our face is already in the toilet bowl, and the only direction now is to force our way down into the septic tank. I'm just sayin', it's gonna suck. Please expect no positivity.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : The weapons suck. You start off with a squirt gun that doesn't do diddly dick. Sometimes it freezes enemies for a second, but most the time it does absolutely nothing. At least it's better than the cane in Jekyll and Hyde which does worse than nothing, it gets you dangerously close to enemies or even riles them up to attack you. So while the squirt gun does nothing, at least it's better than negative nothing. And that's a positive way to look at it, right? Well, the negative side to that is there's no such thing as negative nothing. Am I sure about that? I'm positive.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : There's also these little fire people walking around that are invincible. Your slingshot and pea shooter don't do a thing to them. And I know you're thinking; "This is a perfect time to use the water gun". Water to put out fire? Well, that would make sense, right? But, of course, it doesn't do shit, just freezes them. This just baffles the shit out of me and really coils up my colon. Why the fuck would the water gun not hurt the fire people? There's no reason to even have it, there's no reason for anything in this game, it's just bullshit meant to frustrate and confuse you.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I spent my last two continues on this part, and when I saw that game over screen, I wanted to put my goddamn fist through the TV. I felt emotions. I didn't even know existed here. Anger and rage on a level that normal human being should never have to feel. I've had times where I was so close to shedding tears of rage. Two hours of my life down the fuckin' shitter, literally, the shitter.