- Professor Paradox: The Chrono-logger is hardly a time machine in the sense of a vehicle, but rather a subatomic drill designed to bore a tunnel in the fabric of space-time. As to cost, I think the alleviation of untold human suffering throughout history is ample justification, General.
- General Groff: It'll also give our red buddies overseas a thing or two to think about.
- Professor Paradox: Swampfire! That takes me back - or is it forward? It's so hard to tell, Ben. Have we met?
- Gwen Tennyson: [about 70-year-old Kevin] He's like a real irritable, short-tempered, crotchety old man.
- Kevin Levin: Why are you whispering?
- Ben Tennyson: In other words, aside from the male-patteren baldness, he's pretty much the same as always.
- Kevin Levin: You shoulda gone out with me when I was young and handsome.
- Gwen Tennyson: You were too immature.
- Kevin Levin: What about now?
- Gwen Tennyson: Too old.
- Professor Paradox: [checking his watch] Where have you been? You were supposed to get here six seconds ago - or is this thing running fast?
- Professor Paradox: Same old Ben Tennyson. You're more like yourself now than you were in the future, which for obvious reasons I can't really tell you about.
- Kevin Levin: [to Ben] You want me to hurt 'im?
- Professor Paradox: Los Soledad was built entirely on MY ingenious theory - a time tunnel utilizing the properties I discovered in quartz crystals which would allow us access to past and future events.
- Kevin Levin: Yeah, well, for a genius, it looks like you blew it.
- Professor Paradox: You don't know the half of it. Some tiny miscalculation on my part destabilized the experiment and ripped a hole in the fabric of reality. I was hurled into the event horizon. I must have spent one hundred-thousand years there. I didn't age or need to sleep or eat - just exist.
- Kevin Levin: Heh, sounds pretty boring.
- Professor Paradox: At first I went mad of course, but after a few millennia I got bored with that, too, and went sane - very sane. I began to learn. I now have total understanding of the space-time continuum, allowing me to travel anywhere and anywhen I want... within reason.
- Professor Paradox: I've spent a dozen lifetimes crisscrossing the time stream, making it a better place.
- Kevin Levin: Then how does THAT pay?
- Professor Paradox: At the moment, not even in job satisfaction.
- Professor Paradox: Young Ben has an innate sense of transtemporal metaphysics, which will serve him well in his future - or should I say past?
- Ben Tennyson: And I drive good, too.
- Ben Tennyson: The creature - it tried to use the pay phone, then it went to the police station, then the dorms. It didn't act like some unfathomable transdimensional creature. It did everything a normal person would do...
- Gwen Tennyson: ...if they suddenly found themselves in an abandoned military base.
- Ben Tennyson: [reading a note from Paradox] "Kevin, try to keep in mind that if this car comes into contact with anything else form 1976, it will explode like antimatter. Enjoy! Paradox."