Primeval (TV Series)

Underwater Menace (2008)

Ben Miller: James Lester

Quotes 

• James Lester : You know what, Leek? I think this area could benefit from a government redevelopment grant. We'll start off by sealing the anomaly site with a few hundred tons of concrete; that should do the job.

  Oliver Leek : Shall I... speak to the contractors?

  James Lester : Oh, there's no need. I'll just get a shovel and a cement-mixer and do it myself. Of course you should call the contractors, you idiot!

• James Lester : Give me some good news.

  Nick Cutter : We still haven't found the boy.

  James Lester : No, that's bad news. Good news makes people happy. Keep trying.

  Nick Cutter : We found the shark.

  James Lester : Now you're getting the hang of it. So then... problem solved!

• Nick Cutter : There's another predator. Abby saw something.

  Stephen Hart : Another shark.

  Nick Cutter : Or it could be something else. All the evidence points to a marine mammal that sheds its skin, like a seal or a walrus. And the boy was taken off ground. So even if the shark could swam up the flooded drain, how did it grab him?

  Stephen Hart : Using that proboscis.

  Nick Cutter : That wouldn't explain the singing. A shark can't make that sound. It doesn't have vocal chords.

  James Lester : So to sum up then, we're looking for a deadly skin-shedding aquatic predator, with a neat line in Charlotte Church impressions. Well, the marketing possibilities are endless.

• James Lester : Cutter, next time I sack you, you might at least pretend to stay sacked for more than five minutes.