House M.D. (TV Series)
Ugly (2007)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Quotes
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Dr. Gregory House : I think I'm going blind.
Dr. James Wilson : Hairy palms too?
Dr. Gregory House : She said something idiotic again and I didn't even notice it. Foreman had to point out that it was idiotic. She's making me an idiot.
Dr. James Wilson : It's cute, you have a crush.
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Dr. Amber Volakis : [referring to Dr. Terzi] Why did you bring her in so late? It's not fair. The rest of us...
Dr. Gregory House : Hey, hey! You want fair, you picked the wrong job. The wrong profession.
[pauses to think]
Dr. Gregory House : The wrong species.
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Dr. Amber Volakis : [refering to Dr. Terzi] Why did you hire her?
Dr. Gregory House : Because she has way more diagnostic experience than the other swimsuit models I was considering.
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Dr. Gregory House : Wow! You are ugly!
Kenny : Wow! You're an ass!
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Dr. James Wilson : You've got a problem.
Dr. Gregory House : Tell me something I don't know.
Dr. James Wilson : You hire beautiful girls, enslave them, force them to be around you because you don't know how to have an actual relationship. If they're qualified, keep them. If not, fire them and ask them out.
Dr. Gregory House : You do realize that "tell me something I don't know" is just an expression?
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[talking about Dr. Terzi]
Dr. Gregory House : I think she might be an idiot.
Dr. James Wilson : Who?
Dr. Gregory House : But she can't be an idiot. She was in the CIA for God's sake.
Dr. James Wilson : The Bay of Pigs was a daring triumph.
Dr. Gregory House : She had good ideas in Langley.
Dr. James Wilson : All your ideas.
Dr. Gregory House : She was able to identify that they were good ideas.
Dr. James Wilson : Stab in the dark here. Is she pretty?
Dr. Gregory House : She's new. She's nervous.
Dr. James Wilson : She's a C-Cup?
Dr. Gregory House : She said one dumb thing in a differential. They all say dumb things in differentials.
Dr. James Wilson : A D-Cup? If she's no good just fire her.
Dr. Gregory House : I can't! I just hired her. She left a career.
Dr. James Wilson : Wow. Either that's actual guilt or I've got to see this woman.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : A little part of me...
Dr. Gregory House : There is no little part of you.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House] You think I like the cameras? You think I want the whole world watching you check out my ass and question my wardrobe?
Dr. Gregory House : Would it be better if I checked out your wardrobe and questioned your ass?
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Dr. Gregory House : How many lives have been lost because of pretty girls?
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House] Where are you going?
Dr. Gregory House : To do what I always do it these situations: treat my patient behind his back.
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Dr. Gregory House : Just a warning: if we have to start getting consent every time we do a procedure, soon they'll be asking for "informed" consent.
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Dr. Gregory House : On the other hand, cameras make people act. Sometimes like human beings, sometimes just weird. Sometimes, they wear open-tip bras.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [defensively] It's cold in here.
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Dr. Gregory House : Let's go for a walk. Walks look good on camera - they give the illusion of the story moving forward.
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Dr. Gregory House : [after watching the completed documentary] Suddenly I don't feel I can trust Michael Moore movies.
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Kenny] Anywhere else in the animal kingdom, your parents would have eaten you at birth.
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Dr. Chris Taub : There's a mass lesion in the left anterior temporal lobe surrounded by edema.
Dr. Gregory House : Did you just insult me in Pig Latin?
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Dr. Gregory House : Anybody here more interested in the medicine and a little less interested in the paparazzi?
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Taub] Why did you take this job?
Dr. Chris Taub : [about the patient] He's got a bulging cyst...
Dr. Gregory House : You had a perfectly good plastic surgery practice... lots of money.
Dr. Chris Taub : [ignoring House] Fluids aren't draining properly...
Dr. Gregory House : The temptation to come screw with me just too much for you? There's got to be a better reason.
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Dr. Gregory House : Dr. Taub would rather distract you from the truth with sparkly things like four-carat diamonds.
Dr. Chris Taub : House...
Dr. Gregory House : Your partner said that you left for personal reasons, but your wife said you lost a patient.
Dr. Chris Taub : You son-of-a-bitch. You spoke to my wife?
Dr. Gregory House : See, that confused me.
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Dr. Gregory House : I can't believe I'm that guy.
Dr. James Wilson : Every guy is that guy.
Dr. Gregory House : I'm not every guy.
Dr. James Wilson : What is this--semantics here? Okay, all guys are that guy.
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Dr. Gregory House : I have a new theory. Their bad ideas don't indicate a lack of intelligence, they indicate... an open mind, a willingness not to be trapped by conventional...