- Amber Volakis: Why did you call me?
- Dr. Gregory House: Because if I pooped myself in front of Wilson, I'd never hear the end of it.
- Dr. Wilson: Just looking at you hurts. I was going to order up some extra pain meds.
- Dr. Gregory House: I love you.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Wait, how do you want us to split up?
- Dr. Gregory House: Good question, Overly Excited Former Foster Kid. There's ten of you. I was thinking six against six. No, wait...
- Amber Volakis: Dr. House? I'd like to be on the men's team.
- Dr. Gregory House: Do your sex organs dangle, Cutthroat Bitch?
- Amber Volakis: Not yet.
- Thirteen: [last lines; to House] I know! Forget the lecture and fire me already!
- Dr. Gregory House: If I was going to fire you, I wouldn't be giving you the lecture. I know you're not going to let anything like this ever happen again.
- [pause]
- Dr. Gregory House: I'll see you tomorrow.
- [Thirteen leaves the room; House goes over to Stark's body]
- Dr. Gregory House: And I'm sorry to say... I told you so.
- Amber Volakis: I get it. You don't like me because maybe I'm a little bit... competitive.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Manipulative.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Cutthroat Bitch is your official title.
- Amber Volakis: [to Cameron] Why do you guys keep a D-cell battery in a urine specimen cup?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Because we pulled it from a patient's intestine.
- Amber Volakis: Why would somebody swallow a battery?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [smirking] Why do you assume it was swallowed?
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Brennan] Why are you here?
- Dr. Travis Brennan: I want this job.
- Dr. Gregory House: Parents sick?
- Dr. Travis Brennan: No. I... I just...
- Dr. Gregory House: [interrupts] This is not the job you want. This is the job in the zip code you want. You engaged?
- Dr. Travis Brennan: Yes.
- Dr. Gregory House: Ta-da!
- Dr. Travis Brennan: Am I not allowed to grow up and change my priorities?
- Dr. Gregory House: You're allowed to. People usually don't.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: We were wrong and we're going to keep being wrong until we're right.
- Latino Fellow: Or until she dies.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Yeah, that was very helpful. Need a team to tell me we're mortals.
- Dr. Gregory House: [shouting over Cuddy to Wilson's office] Hey Wilson, I'm gonna cut some cripple's eye out! Wanna come watch?
- Dr. Wilson: [opens office door] Good times.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: [about Amber] She went rogue. Broke the rules.
- Dr. Gregory House: You also sinned. You have no right to cast the first stone.
- Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: And atheists have no right to quote Scripture.
- Amber Volakis: [to Chase] Do you think House could be wrong?
- Dr. Robert Chase: I thought he fired you.
- Amber Volakis: No, he fired the men.
- Dr. Robert Chase: I don't think he's wrong.
- Amber Volakis: If he is, how would I prove it?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Just said I don't think he is.
- Amber Volakis: Well, thinking isn't good enough.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You'd have to run a blood test for anti-centromere antibodies.
- Amber Volakis: Would you mind running the labs?
- Dr. Robert Chase: You can't.
- Amber Volakis: Well, I can, but...
- Dr. Robert Chase: No, I was making a statement. You've been fired, so you no longer have lab privileges. You weren't coming here for advice. You're coming here to con a favor to save your job. Sorry. I'm not working for him anymore, but he can still make my life miserable.
- [begins to walk away]
- Amber Volakis: You have a chance to make his life miserable.
- [Chase stops and turns around]
- Dr. Robert Chase: I'm insulted. You conned Cameron by appealing to her humanity.
- Amber Volakis: I told her what she wanted to hear.
- Dr. Robert Chase: And you told me what you thought I wanted to hear.
- Amber Volakis: If it's any consolation, I think your motives are more interesting.
- Dr. Robert Chase: I cannot believe he fired you. Go draw his blood. Meet you in the lab when I'm done here.
- Amber Volakis: You're looking better. Stark's dead.
- [House rolls his eyes and unclips himself]
- Amber Volakis: What are you doing?
- Dr. Gregory House: Going to see our patient.
- Amber Volakis: He's dead.
- Dr. Gregory House: Dead is not a diagnosis.
- Dr. Gregory House: I check this box, and your next roommates are gonna be Jesus and Crazy McLoonyBin.
- Dr. Gregory House: Who are you, Thirteen?
- Thirteen: My name's in the file.
- Dr. Gregory House: The fact that you won't answer my questions tells me more about you than answers could.
- Thirteen: No, it doesn't. We turned the thing up to 95 degrees...
- Dr. Gregory House: Do you think that non-answers tell me anything?
- Thirteen: Sure. Just not as much as actual answers. That's why they are called answers.
- Dr. Gregory House: Tell me you're hiding something.
- Thirteen: Tells you I'm hiding everything.
- Dr. Gregory House: Tells me you've got something worth hiding. Some Turkish prison, gay porn... you killed a man just because he was asking too many questions.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Chase] I could have you fired!
- Dr. Robert Chase: You've already had me fired.
- Dr. Gregory House: Which proves that I can.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Were the men wrong?
- Dr. Gregory House: No. That doesn't change the fact...
- Dr. Robert Chase: Why are you yelling at me?
- Dr. Gregory House: Because performing tests for someone who is not a doctor in this hospital...
- Dr. Robert Chase: You're frustrated. If you want help, I'm here. If you just need to vent, leave a message.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I like him better like this. You?
- [House just glares]
- Dr. Wilson: [to House about Stark] Why can't you just let him have his fairy tale? If it gives him comfort to imagine beaches and loved ones and life outside a wheelchair...
- Dr. Gregory House: Are there 72 virgins too?
- Dr. Schaffer: Dr. Foreman. How's she doing?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Fever's gone. AST and ALT are back within normal range. She should be out of here in a few days.
- Dr. Schaffer: Gutsy call.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Thanks.
- Dr. Schaffer: It wasn't a compliment. If you were wrong, she'd be dead.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I was sure...
- Dr. Schaffer: No, you weren't. You couldn't be. There's a reason we have rules. If every doctor did whatever his "gut" told him was right, we'd have a lot more dead bodies to deal with.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: It won't happen again.
- Dr. Schaffer: Yes, it will because you confused saving her life with doing the right thing.
- [shakes her head]
- Dr. Schaffer: I'm sorry, Dr. Foreman, you're fired.
- Dr. Gregory House: More interesting than evens versus odds. Less interesting than shirts against skins... If your sex organs dangle, you're the Confederates. If your sex organs are aesthetically pleasing, you're the Yanks.
- Stark: I already can't walk. I can't eat. You're telling me that the rest of my life is in this bed, puking and in pain?
- Dr. Wilson: We can manage the pain.
- Stark: I'd rather just get this over with. I've been trapped in this useless body long enough. It'd be nice to finally get out.
- Dr. Gregory House: Get out and go where? You think you're gonna sprout wings and start flying around with the other angels? Don't be an idiot. There is no "after." There's just "this."
- Dr. Wilson: House!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: You don't stop a daily ritual that cures boredom because you're bored. She stopped doing her crossword puzzle because she's having a hard time reading it. What causes fever, boggy lungs, and blurry vision?