Green Acres (TV Series)
Lisa's Vegetable Garden (1967)
Eva Gabor: Lisa Douglas
Photos
Quotes
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Lisa Douglas : [having found several credits printed on freshly laid eggs] What's the matter with you chickens? All of your eggs coming out with names on.
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Lisa Douglas : Where do you keep the booze?
Oliver Wendell Douglas : The booze?
Lisa Douglas : Well, you know, the bottle you keep for municipal porpoises.
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Oliver Wendell Douglas : Lisa, any school child can figure that out in it's head.
Lisa Douglas : Well, I didn't go to a head-school. The school I went to, all they told me is to count how many carats there are in a diamond. The way you do that: you find a jeweler...
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Oliver Wendell Douglas : [Lisa has hired Alf and Ralph as domestic help] Now about the help... Do you want to fire them, or shall I?
Lisa Douglas : [Alf and Ralph look close to tears] Why, you wouldn't fire them on Christmas?
Oliver Wendell Douglas : It's not Christmas!
Oliver Wendell Douglas : When you proposed to me, you said that every day is going to be like Christmas.
Oliver Wendell Douglas : [mellows as he remembers and smiles] Oh, so I did. Merry Christmas, darling.
[kisses Lisa on the lips, then turns to Alf and Ralph]
Oliver Wendell Douglas : You're fired.
[Alf and Ralph burst out crying]
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Lisa Douglas : Well, we don't like cucumbers. What other vegetables are there?
Hank Kimball : Oh, I have a list here as long as my arm.
[grabs the lists and compares it's length with his right arm]
Hank Kimball : No, I guess it's shorter.
Lisa Douglas : Eh, can I have that?
Hank Kimball : Well no, I need it to hold my wristwatch on. Oh, heh heh, you mean the list.