- Jack Malloy: [to his boss, on the phone] You want me and my son to appear in a TV commercial? Are you kidding? For that kind of money, I'd put him in a dress and have him intern in the White House!
- Jack Malloy: Mr. Floppy, I'm gonna be on television!
- Mr. Floppy: The new Fox Special, When Animals Attack Drunks?
- Jack Malloy: That sounds like Sweeps.