The Dalmatians (Video 1997) Poster

(1997 Video)

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1/10
Terrible dalmatians
TheLittleSongbird2 June 2021
Expectations really weren't high to begin with. Knew exactly what to expect, and got pretty much exactly what was expected. Saw 'Little Dalmatians' out of curiosity, to see whether it really was as bad as has been said (had heard absolutely nothing halfway decent about it) and also to see whether the notoriously awful Dingo Pictures, yet there is something somewhat fascinating about their awfulness, were capable of doing something halfway watchable. Had very strong feelings on both counts.

'Little Dalmatians' really is that terrible and my conclusions from watching Dingo Pictures' output over-time (taken me five years sporadically to suffer through it) is that none of their work is watchable. Even their least bad, which is probably their 'Tarzan' adaptation' is very bad. 'Little Dalmatians' was like when watching having the most feverish of fever nightmares from having too much to drink, and the throbbing head feeling gotten after watching like the consequences of walking into a wall hung-over.

Where to begin with the criticisms? The animation for starters is so amateurishly cheap, consisting of very flat colours, simplistic to the point of near-sparse background art and recycled and unintentionally creepy character designs that were so unappealing on the eyes. Even primary school children's watercolour art paintings are better. The music is inappropriately jaunty, disconcertingly creepy and always sounds misplaced, never fitting with what's going on. Not to mention that it very rarely stops, actually sounding like it was composed and recorded on loop. Lets not forget the truly bizarre and random sound effects too.

As to be expected, the script is appalling, to the point of being unbelievably intelligence insulting and very few things make me so unsure of what the intended target audience is meant to be. There is nothing appealing for adults, who will be frustrated and insulted by feeling their intelligence levels dropping rapidly within minutes of watching 'Little Dalmatians'. Children will find the dialogue barely coherent and find it both too juvenile and difficult to understand. It's very stilted too.

The story is paper thin to the point of near-non existence, is hard to follow (have seen a lot of complex film and television and have seldom have had problems with comprehension, Dingo Pictures and cohesion should never belong in the same sentence together) and the pacing is so aimless. There was no need whatsoever for the over-explanatory and obnoxious narration that does nothing to further the storytelling or make it understandable, it actually confuses it. There is nothing original about 'Little Dalmatians', that is blatantly derivative of not just '101 Dalmatians' but also 'Lady and the Tramp', 'Pound Puppies' and even 'All Dogs Go to Heaven' (also infinitely better), and there is content that is too out of place dark.

None of the characters are remotely likeable, most are personality-free ciphers, the cat will traumatise kids and that crow is so irritating to an exaggerated degree that you'd wish they'd go far away and never return. The voice acting is ill-fitting and unintentionally creepy, as well as capable of only one emotion done as badly as one can get.

Overall, terrible with no redeeming qualities at all. 1/10.
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