- Brilliant: Aren't shops brilliant? If you want something, no matter what it is, you can get it in the shop. Like a magazine or anything.
- Various Roles: [Voice over] It's an hour before dawn and Elsa Richardson has already been to meet the returning fishing fleet. Elsa is the head of the marine research department at Durham University.
- Various Roles: I am the head of the marine research department at Durham University.
- Various Roles: She has spent the last 6 years investigating pollution in the north sea.
- Various Roles: I've spent the last 6 years investigating pollution in the north sea.
- Various Roles: These fish from this morning's catch all display the symptoms of mercury poisoning.
- Various Roles: These fish from this mornig's catch all display the symptoms of mercury poisoning. As you can see from the state of the gills.
- Various Roles: As you can see from the state of the gills - I'm sorry!
- Various Roles: As you can see from the state of the...
- Various Roles: As you can see from the state of the... Sorry!
- Various Roles: As you can see from the state of the...
- Various Roles: As you can see from the state of the... You go first.
- Various Roles: As you can see from the state of the gils. The fishing agency...
- Various Roles: The fishing agency here in the North East of England has been... I'm sorry, I thought you'd finished.
- Various Roles: As you can see by the state of the gills, these fish are suffering...
- Various Roles: Although, to tell you truth, I am not really interested in fish. So why don't you push off.
- Various Roles: Hmm. As you can you see by the state of the gills...
- Various Roles: You haven't got any friends, have you?
- Various Roles: Just a fish.
- Various Roles: Thought so.
- Various Roles: [Elsa is seen walking up on a flight of stairs] Elsa Richardson is a sad and lonely woman. Her only friend is a fish and she has a fat arse.
- Various Roles: I HEARD THAT!
- Various Roles: There now follows an advertisement for Northern types.
- Various Roles: Ted, I... Ted, I... I... I just wanted to say, I'm... I'm... sorry!... and...
- [Ralph turns and walks away]
- Brilliant: Oh! Lord! It was my fault, sir!
- Various Roles: [Bob Fleming reviews a couple of fiery shotguns] They really were a pair of tasty birds, if a little tough. Now there's...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: Excuse me! Really not much to choose between these two guns...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: In terms of action and accuracy. But you will...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: You will notice a marked difference in weight...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: The gun...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: The gun on my left here, the...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: ... The box is...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: The gun on my left here...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: The box is...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: The box is...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: The gun...
- [Coughs]
- Various Roles: On my left here...
- [Cough. Shoots the celling]
- Various Roles: The gun on my left here. The box is...
- [Coughs. Shoots bucket]
- Various Roles: The gun on my left...
- [Coughs. Shoots the window]
- Various Roles: The gun on my left...
- [Cough. Shoots the camera]
- Various Roles: .
- Various Roles: [Tommy Cockles introduces footage of an old black and white war movie] Hello there! We are now going to see a piece of film set in the first World War and this was really a very sad time for everyone including me. I was the youngest private ever to fight for the British army. Although those guns wasn't as modern, believe you and me those bullets still hurt. Now, I am going to read to you a poem I wrote at the time
- [Tommy pulls out a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket]
- Various Roles: and it really does evoke the terrible memory for me, the ghastly trench trenches. The gunfire. The mustard gas. The starter uniforms. Hmm. It's quiet sad. But, then, it was a sad time really. It's simply entitled "Armand Days"...
- [Tommy looks at the piece of paper and organizes himself and looks nervously at the camera]
- Various Roles: ... AARRGGHH!
- Various Roles, Brilliant: [Indecisive Dave can't make up his mind about what drink he wants] Dave! Have what ever you want, mate!
- Brilliant: [Indecisive Dave cries] I don't know what I want!