- Sarah Silverman: I'm the victim of a hate crime. It's true. The lady at the country club wouldn't let me play tennis because I'm Jewish.
- Officer Jay McPherson: What?
- Sarah Silverman: She was like, "What's your name? Silverman?... Get out Jew".
- Laura Silverman: She said that?
- Sarah Silverman: Yeah. Basically. With her eyes.
- Waiter: Mam, excuse me. I think it's harder to be black than it is to be Jewish.
- Sarah Silverman: Uh, did black people have the holocaust?
- Waiter: No, but we did have 400 years of slavery.
- Sarah Silverman: Oh, I'm SO sorry you guys get to have like amazing dance moves and singing voices while we got... oh yeah... murder showers.
- Officer Jay McPherson: Well, what do you believe in Sarah?
- Sarah Silverman: Mouthwash for starters. Seriously, Jay, did you eat a fart?