Bobcat Goldthwait: Mr. Floppy

Quotes 

• Mr. Floppy : Let's face it, Jack, you're bored with me. Jack, before things get ugly between us, give me to someone who cares. You know, those Playmates always have stuffed animals on their beds. Satin sheets, scented candles, and a warm silky boob to rest my weary little head.

  [sings:] 

  Mr. Floppy : Cuddle in the morning, cuddle in the evening, cuddle...

  [rest of lyrics drowned out by audience laughter] 

  Mr. Floppy : If any of you Playmates are listening, I'll lay down with you and pretend to like old movies. I'll listen to your problems with Charlie Sheen. I'll even pretend to care about your stinking careers! Tie me up, tie me down, *I'm into anything!*