- Uncle Fester: [glancing at Lucretia's page in the "Great Hopes Dating Service" book] Interests: none.
- Morticia Addams: Likes: nothing.
- Gomez Addams: Hates: the world. Fester, snap this one up before she gets away!
- Uncle Fester: Women! First I was fighting her off, and then she runs away.
- Gomez Addams: Probably couldn't take the rejection.
- Uncle Fester: That's all right, she had those revolting soft lips!
- Gomez Addams: But children, your Uncle Fester doesn't need any help with the ladies, he used to have to beat them off with a stick.
- Morticia Addams: Until the police intervened...