- Jerry Russo: Lesson number two is about genies that live in a lamp. And they are the con artists of the wizard world.
- Alex Russo: Con artists? I thought they were supposed to grant you three wishes.
- Justin Russo: They do. But they take your wish and they twist it around into something you wish you never wished for.
- Max Russo: Is Alex a genie?
- [Justin laughs]
- Jerry Russo: No, she's just your older sister. But good, Max, you understand the concept.
- [first lines]
- Mr. Laritate: All right, my little history wranglers, enough ruckus. Let's start off Thursday's class like we always do: with an oral pop quiz.
- Alex Russo: [sarcastically] Oh, my gosh, it's the Thursday pop quiz we have every Thursday; I'm totally caught off-guard.
- Mr. Laritate: Oh, Alex, you are definitely not your brother, Justin.
- Alex Russo: No, I'm not. I'm cuter, I'm more fun to talk to, and I don't have dental floss on a key chain.
- Mr. Laritate: Yeah?
- [he holds up a dental floss key chain]
- Mr. Laritate: Well, I do. Justin made it for me. Ah, Justin. Those were the days.
- Theresa Russo: Oh, Justin, sweetie, I'm so sorry I forgot you!
- Jerry Russo: What kind of mother forgets her own son?
- Theresa Russo: What about you?
- Jerry Russo: What? I'm a dad. Before my cup of coffee, I'm lucky if remember one of these kids.
- [to Max]
- Jerry Russo: Come on, Bobby, bedtime.