"Real-Time Fandub Games" Sonic Adventure 2 (Hero Story) (TV Episode 2018) - Penny Parker as Sonic the Hedgehog

Dr. Eggman : [Sonic and Shadow's fight has just ended] It would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill in Tarzan's forest. You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch! You have done nothing but destroy my life, I hope you both die.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Hot Topic?

Shadow the Hedgehog : No! My secret!

Ryan : Alfred, I hope you know that is actually what happens in the story.

Penny : That is- like, he literally was like...

Alfred : Wait, dead seriously? Seriously?

Ryan : Yeah, he says... "This island will explode"...

Penny : Yeah, see? Watch!

[sure enough, the island does explode]

Alfred : OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T KNOW!

[the other dubbers crack up]

Alfred : Oh my God, I didn't know!

Sonic the Hedgehog : [Shadow has just used Chaos Control to escape] He's faster than Sonic! He's faster than Sonic! WHAT?

Dr. Eggman : [on TV] Hehehe, hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you, I'm keeping your stocks. That's right you ugly little girl, I HATE YOU and your STUPID NOSE, I'm taking EVERYTHING from you, GIVE me your phone. I'm taking over Victoria's Secret, I'm taking over Best Buy, the News is MINE and EVERYONE ELSE CAN LEAVE, you see that planet? I'M TAKING IT TOO! IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING WALNUT! BLAM! AND IT BUSTED A NUT! THEN AND THERE!

[the Eclipse Cannon is revealed as Eggman continues laughing maniacally]

Dr. Eggman : Now DIE!

[the cannon fires above the Earth]

Civilian : Oh my God, it missed!

[the laser hits the moon]

Dr. Eggman : Fuck you moon, you never had the cheese I wanted!

Civilian : Oh. Well that wasn't very nice. I-I think that's gonna have some kind of effect on the tides or something.

Dr. Eggman : I hope you're ready to die, It's gonna be like Evangelion, get the fuck out.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Whoa.

Amy Rose : That is like, Evangelion or some shit, man that is crazy.

[first lines]

Dispatcher : [a helicopter is flying above the city] Alright, it looks like we got Sonic finally. He's been really hard to catch because he's so fast, but fortunately, we have him in this enclosed space

Sonic the Hedgehog : I'm gonna kill all of you!

Dispatcher : Yep, we've heard that one before.

[sounds of fighting, rings dropping]

Dispatcher : Anyway- Oh wait...

Sonic the Hedgehog : I'm bustin' out now! I'm actively busting out of the prison!

Dispatcher : Oh God, he's actually doing it.

Sonic the Hedgehog : I'm now outside of the prison bars! Here I go!

Dispatcher : You're a fugitive to law, Sonic.

[Sonic breaks out of the helicopter]

Sonic the Hedgehog : BLAM! I told you! I was gonna break free!

Dispatcher : You son of a bitch, Sonic.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Live and Learn, everybody! That's what I'm talking about. Talk about a low budget flight! No food or movies? I'm- Big? What are YOU doing here?

Dispatcher : He's also being brought into custody.

Sonic the Hedgehog : You need to go back home. I have a suspicion you left the oven ooooooooon!

Shadow the Hedgehog : That blue hedgehog again of all places.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Hey, that's... I... found you! Faker!

Shadow the Hedgehog : Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here. You're going around being an asshole? I mean that fits me but die.

[charges at Sonic]

Sonic the Hedgehog : I'll make you eat those words!

[charges at Shadow]

Shadow the Hedgehog : Perish.

[the fight begins as the boss text displays]

Hayley : "Shadow".

Shadow the Hedgehog : Yes, thank you voice.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Thanks, I forgot who this was! Did we ever establish our names?

Shadow the Hedgehog : No.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Hi, I'm Sonic!

Shadow the Hedgehog : Nice to meet you. I'm Shadow.

[gets hit]

Shadow the Hedgehog : Ow.

Sonic the Hedgehog : [Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are standing outside the door to Eggman's desert base] I'm gonna go in there first and you guys back me up okay?

Miles 'Tails' Prower : [steps forward] Nope. I'm going.

Sonic the Hedgehog : You guys hear me? Do you- hey!

Miles 'Tails' Prower : I'm just trying to get a feel for this door. I think it's made...

Sonic the Hedgehog : It's made of wood Tails, there's nothing else to get a feel of, it's wood and paint.

Knuckles the Echidna : Uh, actually it's a really low-res JPEG.

Sonic the Hedgehog : What? A J- What's a JPEG? Stop speaking witch.

Alfred : [Eggman's pyramid base opens up, revealing a giant space shuttle] WHAT? WHAT? WH- WHY IS NASA THERE? I'M SO CONFUSED!

Sonic the Hedgehog : [running to the shuttle] I gotta get on that plane!

Knuckles the Echidna : Oh no! It's an ancient Egyptian space shuttle!

Sonic the Hedgehog : Hey, this is like, this is like... what George Lucas was talking about with like rhymes in cinema? Like how the beginning of the one, I'm in a plane, and now I'm in a rocket.

Alfred : Can I just real quick say that I never got to play this game and everything that's happening is new to me and my mind can't connect.

Lillie : [laughing] I'm in the same boat, I have no fucking clue what's happening!

Sonic the Hedgehog : It's so epic right Alfred?

Miles 'Tails' Prower : Hey Sonic, I have a question. Since I'm literally five, can you please explain to me how you fuck crops?

[later]

Sonic the Hedgehog : I didn't- I didn't wanna have to explain that to you, Tails, I didn't wanna! You forced my hand!

Miles 'Tails' Prower : PLEASE.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Now you're scarred for life, and I'm gonna have to take you to therapy and it's just...

Miles 'Tails' Prower : Yeah, I think I need to melt now.

Amy Rose : After you explained how to fuck plants I think I'm a veggie.

Miles 'Tails' Prower : I didn't expect that to be exactly how you explained it. But then after you explained it made so much sense that that's exactly how that would work. But now I'm wondering why the fuck would you do that?

Amy Rose : Well, it's a personal choice and I thank you not to judge me for it.

Sonic the Hedgehog : Amy, shut up, right now! Shut your mouth, right now. We are not opening up that can of worms.

Sonic the Hedgehog : [Sonic comes out of an elevator] That's right everybody. It's your favorite boy.

Dr. Eggman : [cracking up] Get the fuck out or I'm gonna shoot Amy in the fucking face, I swear to GOD! I'll do it you BITCH, GET OUT! I will pop her.

Amy Rose : Don't give him my life for a piss rock!

Sonic the Hedgehog : Will you pop this piss rock?

Dr. Eggman : [gasps] Put the piss stone down right now, you know what piss rocks does to your...

[quietly]

Dr. Eggman : blenis.

Sonic the Hedgehog : I like what it does to my

[muffled]

Sonic the Hedgehog : blenis

[normal]

Sonic the Hedgehog : Eggman!

[the other dubbers start laughing]

Sonic the Hedgehog : And you know what... That's what's gonna give me the strength to get through this and-