- Ernie and Slab are having lunch and inquire as to what all the cans on the table are. George explains that they're cans without labels, which he buys cheap. Things go south when the kids discover how disgusting the contents of the cans are, such as there being a face inside of it.
- The film opens to a smiling George Liquor in his kitchen. The kitchen table is filled with cans. His nephews Ernie and Slab are seated at the table and ask him about the cans' content. George replies that these are cans without labels, which he purchases at cheap prices (5 to 10 cents per can). He is trying to save money to plan for the future. He suggests that he might have to financially support his nephews through reform school. Ernie and Slab are not particularly enthusiastic about his speech.
Slab next asks George about how he knows about the content of a random can. A smiling George claims that each can provides you with clues. George picks a random can, examines its golden lid, the 2 rings around the top of the can, the 3 rings around its middle, and the sound of slosh when you shake the can. George performs mental calculations and proclaims that the can contains beef stew. The nephews express their love for beef stew.
In a slightly sinister tone of voice, George explains a rule: Once he opens the can, they are going to eat whatever is inside it. He opens the can and offers it to Ernie, who seems horrified by its contents. Ernie points out that there is a (human) face inside the can. Slab is disgusted as well. George takes a look inside the can, and seems mildly surprised. But then he acts cheerful and says that they are having a face for lunch. The horrified nephews attempt to flee from the kitchen, but George catches them.
George orders them to eat the face, but the nephews reply that they do not want to eat it. George says that there is nothing wrong with the face in the can, and that it looks better than Ernie. George continues that starving African babies would kill for such a meal. Ernie sarcastically suggests sending the can to the African babies. George looses his temper, and threatens his nephews: They are either going to eat the face, or George is going to punish them with his belt.
Ernie reluctantly tries to eat the face, but soon spits it back into the can. George is furious and commands them again to eat the face. The nephews are in tears. George seems extremely frustrated, but offers them a break. He explains that he is going to the toilet to "take a crap", and he expects the face to be gone before he returns. He then leaves.
The desperate kids seek a solution to their problem, until they hear a cat meowing. Slab immediately grabs a leg of Cigarettes the Cat, a nearby alley cat, and pulls him inside the house. Slab has Cigarettes seated at a chair, having the idea to feed the face to Cigarettes. Ernie congratulates Slab on his idea. He gives a back-handed compliment to Slab, saying that who knew Slab had a brain. Slab reacts bashfully at the compliment.
Cigarette takes sometime to get used to seating on a chair, and is surprised that this is "what an ass is for". Ernie offers the hungry cat a meal, and Cigarette acts surprises that he can join the humans at a table and eat human food. He accepts and seems eager to eat. Ernie offers Cigarettes the can, but the cat is disgusted when he sees the face. The cat explains that he will eat just about anything, but he draws the line at eating a face. In reaction, an angry Slab kicks the cat out of the house.
The exit of Cigarettes is followed by the sound of the doorbell. The kids open the door and find out that Donald Bastard, a television personality, has come for a visit. Slab acts Ernie what kind of animal Donald is. Ernie describes Donald as a web-footed, bee-eyed, face-eating bastard. He proclaims that Donald eats faces. Donald then attacks Slab, tearing his face off with a bite. Donald tries to eat Slab's face, but Ernie takes the face out of Donald's beak. Ernie hastily puts the face back on Slab, upside-down.
Ernie then offers Donald a meal, promising a store-bought face. Donald is delighted at the idea, and is willing to eat out of a can. Ernie grabs Donald from the neck, and then has Donald seated at the table. Donald quickly eats the face in the can, and seems satisfied by his meal. He burps loudly. The kids closely examine the can, and seem a bit surprises that it has been emptied. They are about to celebrate their victory, when George is heard threatening them from the toilet. Ernie quickly throws Donald out of the house.
Ernie and Slab take positions back at the table. Then George appears, his belt at hand, his pants down, and a threatening expression at his face. He takes a look inside the can, and is pleasantly surprised that it is empty. His mood shifts from pure anger to calm joy, and he tells his nephews that they are good boys. He tells them that the occasion calls for a reward, and the boys seem eager.
The "reward" is George opening a second can to continue their meal, Before seeing its contents, Ernie and Slab are horrified. They run through the wall and flee in terror. As they run away on the street, the film ends.
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