- Caitlin Dowd: There's a new blog out called 'Regrets Only' which posts gossip on women in business. Read what the latest post has.
- Zoe Burden: [reading from the printout] "Which Lily Parish Cosmetic executive has been seen canoodoling all over town with her hot, chocolate ad agency rep? These ladies are sharing more than makeup tips."
- Mia Mason: Canoodoling? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
- Caitlin Dowd: Never mind. "Hot chocolate"? What does that make me?
- Mia Mason: A marshmellow?
- Caitlin Dowd: Oh my God!
- Mia Mason: What? "Oh my God, good?" Or, "oh my God, bad?"
- Caitlin Dowd: Oh my God, crap!
- Alicia Lawson: Look, if you're not into this, if you've had a change of heart...
- Caitlin Dowd: I haven't, I haven't!
- Alicia Lawson: Good, because I like you, little that I know you. But I'm not your lesbian test drive.
- Caitlin Dowd: OK, time out. Honestly? I have been stressed out of my mind with the usual work stuff, and this blog thing, and us.
- Alicia Lawson: Us? If this is stressing you out, then what are we even...
- Caitlin Dowd: No, the thing is, I get like this. And I need you to hang with it. I'm not stressing out because I'm gay or I'm straight. I don't really care anymore if I'm gay or I'm straight. I just... I need to be in control of my life and this past week, I haven't been. OK? I really want to kiss you right now.
- [points to the pimple on her forehead]
- Caitlin Dowd: Is this zit going to be a problem?
- Alicia Lawson: Not if I'm too close to see it.
- Mia Mason: No right-minded woman with the ability to kill this cover wouldn't kill this cover.
- Todd McDonnell: You're killing the cover?
- Mia Mason: No, you're killing it.
- Todd McDonnell: It's a great cover, Mia. It's loud, it's obnoxious. It's going to make a huge splash. I woun't kill it unless you order me to.
- Mia Mason: Don't you think we're sending the wrong message here? Shouldn't we be telling men that they shouldn't be so threatened when a woman succeeds? That a woman can work hard and be good at what she does? As good as a man. You know what? Sometimes, even better. And that that man will respect me and love me, maybe even love me more? Not just run away and never call, not even to say, "Hey, how ya doing, how's the job and oh, God, I'm sorry we didn't get married, but I'm still thinking about you!" Huh? How about that?
- Todd McDonnell: Are we still talking about the magazine cover?
- Mia Mason: Yes!
- Emily Draper: [reading from a gossip blog] "Which red-headed Queen of Mean hotel exec leaves husband and daughter to fend for themselves while she builds vacation paradises for the idle rich? Much more to come on this." Can that sound more like you?
- Caitlin Dowd: [into the phone] I'm sorry, I just... I wasn't sure. Not about you. Just, all of it.
- Alicia Lawson: [into the phone] Caitlin, I saw the blog. Are you okay?
- Caitlin Dowd: Yeah. Just kinda came out of left field... for me... all of this.
- Alicia Lawson: Can we get together? Let's meet tonight for a drink. We really need to talk.
- Caitlin Dowd: Yeah. Some place dark would be good.
- Caitlin Dowd: It's not bad enough I'm slammed at work. I get outed as a blind item in this ridiculous blog? Whatever happened to a woman's right to kiss another woman in public without it being posted all over the internet? I hate the freaking internet!
- Mia Mason: Stop it! You're spinning.
- Caitlin Dowd: I know! But I was just exploring all of this, and now I'm a parlor game for bored assistants. And, I haven't heard from Alicia for days. I don't even know what she's thinking.
- Mia Mason: The phone works both ways. You can call her. I'm sure she's wondering what you're thinking.
- Caitlin Dowd: Really?
- Zoe Burden: [about Katherine] I hate what she's good at.
- Eric Burden: Which is?
- Zoe Burden: I mean the rack, the bod, the whole blond man-trap thing.
- Eric Burden: Man-trap?
- Zoe Burden: Yeah, my mom used to say that. I mean, she's like Business Barbie.
- Mia Mason: Why is there a man on a dinner plate about to be eaten by a woman on the cover of my magazine?
- Todd McDonnell: It's the zeitgeist. Female execs are taking over. Movie studios, Silicon Valley, maybe our next president, God help us. The whole paradigm is flipped. Men are holding on for dear life. They want help.
- Mia Mason: I'm sure they do. And I get that controversy sells, but honesty? Corporate women are faceless cannibals? Who thinks like that?
- Todd McDonnell: Men.
- Juliet Draper: How do you take your coffee? My treat.
- Cilla Gray: Light, no arsenic.
- Juliet Draper: I'm looking forward to it, darling.
- Zoe Burden: [to Juliet] So, this is it? This is really going to happen? You're going to do it?
- Mia Mason: Of course she is.
- Zoe Burden: Look, I'm all for fighting fire with fire. But revenge sex? I mean, doesn't that seem a little "Yuck"?
- Mia Mason: If your husband cheats on you, you're officially entitled to one free "yuck." It's the law.
- Juliet Draper: Bobby Walsh is in town.
- Zoe Burden: Now? I thought...
- Juliet Draper: Apparently he couldn't wait. I thought I see him tonight.
- Zoe Burden: Talk about burying the lead.
- Juliet Draper: I didn't say anything back there because I didn't want to get the cheering squad all riled up. I'm starting to have second thoughts.
- Zoe Burden: You want me to talk you out of it? In which case, I would open with the remote, but undeniable possibility of contracting as STD. Then there is the Fatal Attraction syndrome.
- Juliet Draper: Davis has been on his best behavior.
- Zoe Burden: That's big of him.
- Juliet Draper: You know, he was even talking about romantic getaways, going back to this resort we loved in Anguilla.
- Zoe Burden: Wow! You ready for that?
- Juliet Draper: Not at all. I'm starting to think Cilla was more than the meaningless fling that Davis makes her out to be.
- Zoe Burden: What makes you say that?
- Juliet Draper: That blog. A fling wouldn't lead to that kind of vitriol. Clearly, this was more. Hell hath no fury like a mistress scorned.