- Michael: Do you know why I forced you to act like a monk in the original neighbourhood?
- Jason Mendoza: Does it have to do with the TV show Monk?
- Michael: No. It's because you have no control over your own impulses. You believe every problem can be solved with a Molotov cocktail, slashing someone's tires or plunging Derek. So being a monk was torture for you. The only way for you to repair your relationship with Janet is to give her some space; show her that you can control your impulses.
- Jason Mendoza: So you are saying wanting to do something isn't a good reason to immediately do it.
- Michael: Yeah.
- Jason Mendoza: I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.
- Michael: People tried, mostly judges.
- Michael: Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason.
- Jason Mendoza: Mm hmm?
- Michael: Sorry, I put a little cheat code in the neighborhood where if I say your name five times, my headache goes away.
- Brent Norwalk: I then inherited the family business and in just 18 years, I grew Norwalk Materials from a $90 million company to a $94 million company.
- [Eleanor has quit her role as team leader]
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I'm not meant for this! I'm not the frickin' savior of the universe. I'm just... a girl from Arizona. That's it. I'm just a normal girl from Arizona. I ate junk food, I watched reality shows, I sometimes left H&M wearing more underpants than I had on when I came in. I did a bad job of being in charge of my own life, and now I'm supposed to be in charge of everyone else's life? I... I cannot do this.
- Michael: When I started my experiment, I thought, 'Four broken birdbrains who will believe everything I tell them. This will be a breeze.' You beat me in three months. 'Okay, fine,' I thought, 'a fluke.' You then beat me 800 more times. Because human beings, it turns out, are weird, and I will never truly understand what it's like to be one. This is a job for a human. One who's tough, but also empathetic, and has a big heart - and a world-class bullshirt detector. You think you can't do this? Eleanor, you're the only one who can do this. Like it or not, the only one who can save humanity is a girl from Arizona.
- Michael: Come on, you know how this works. You fail, and then you try something else, and you fail again, and again, and you fail a thousand times, and you keep trying, because... maybe the 1001st idea might work. Now, I'm gonna go and try to find our 1001st idea. I hope you'll join me... I hope you shower first and then join me.
- Brent Norwalk: In the words of Martin Luther King jr., who I personally believe was a great man, he said that when life knocks you on your butt, you jump back up and start throwin' haymakers.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I'm not sure he said that.
- Brent Norwalk: No, no, he did. You're wrong.
- Brent Norwalk: One time I did shots with this pilot in the lounge, the guy let me fly his helicopter.
- Michael: We know. That's how you died.
- Janet: It isn't personal, Eleanor. When we started this experiment, I calculated a 9% chance of success. After your first three days on the job, it's down to 7.1%. So purely from a mathematical standpoint, you are kind of pooching it.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Very helpful feedback. And if I could give you some feedback, uh, I'd say that you're all ungrateful ash-faces, who can shove your fat grumps all the way up your snork-box.
- Michael: [confused] Which curses were those?
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I didn't ask for this. I'm only doing it because Michael, who is supposed to be in charge, had a nervous breakdown the second it started. But maybe you can do it better than me. Tahani can be in charge since she's so smart. Or better yet, Jason. Maybe all of humanity can be saved with one good, old-fashioned Jacksonville carnival.
- Jason Mendoza: I mean, we could try. All I need is a bouncy house, some ninja stars and a bunch of ambulances.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Well, good luck, fork-faces. I quit. Shellstrop out.
- Janet: You know that I've been overwhelmed with work since the Neighborhood started.
- Jason Mendoza: Yup.
- Janet: And I asked you to give me some space.
- Jason Mendoza: Yup.
- Janet, Jason Mendoza: I'm so sorry to say this... but I can't be in a relationship with you right now. Being with you is fun, but it's not always easy, and I'm afraid it would endanger the experiment.
- Jason Mendoza: It won't, though!
- Janet: Jason, it already has. So why don't we just take a break until it's all finished?
- [stands up]
- Janet: Also, I hate to pile on, but I feel like you have a right to know. The Jacksonville Jaguars cut Blake Bortles. He's not on the team anymore. I am genuinely sorry.