The Raccoons (TV Series)

Rumours! (1986)

Michael Magee: Cyril Sneer, Snag

Quotes 

• Cyril : Can't you bears speed it up? If you were any slower you'd be unionised! I want this mansion to make the Taj Mahal look like a toolshed!

• Bert : Now I'll be Sir Bert! Defender of the feeble, champion of the weak and employee of the month! The shining knight of the Evergreen Forest!

  [One of Cyril's pigs snatches Bert's stuff from him] 

  Cyril : Make that blazing idiot, bandit face!

• Ralph : [Cyril accidentally crashes Melissa and Ralph's play, thinking that the real royal family were showing up, Ralph whispers aside to Melissa]  What's going on?

  Melissa : [whispering]  I don't know, Ralph. But make like it's part of the play. The show must go on!

  [to Audience] 

  Melissa : I have the most wonderful news! The royal family is coming to our forest!

  Ralph : [playing along]  The royal family? Coming to our forest? How soon do they arrive?

  Cyril : Er, um, I don't know. They should be here in a few minutes... unless they stopped for some last minute shopping!

  Ralph : What? Er, last minute shopping?

  Melissa : They're coming to bestow a special honour on one of our own! It's to be a surprise!

  Cyril : You're telling me.

  Ralph : Er, what brings you, fair knight, to our forest?

  Cyril : I was just in the neighbourhood... I er... I just thought I'd drop by.

  [he slips and falls over, causing the audience to laugh] 

• Master of Ceremonies : [clearing his throat]  Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? It is my distinguished privilege to present to you this evening, what we have all been so patiently waiting for. The highlight of the social season! Please now extend a warm Evergreen Forest welcome to... The Queen of Hearts!

  Cyril : What? The Queen of Hearts? You mean this is all a play?

  Master of Ceremonies : Melissa Raccoon, and Ralph Raccoon.

• Cyril : Imagine disgracing our family the way he did: getting caught!