Dwayne Hickman: Dobie Gillis

Quotes 

• Winifred Gillis : Boys Dobie's age just aren't very good at expressing their feelings. It's not that the feelings aren't there, it's just that it's hard for fathers and sons to communicate.

  Herbert T. Gillis : If he came through that door right now, do you know what he would communicate? One of three things: number one, 'Dad can I borrow some money', number two, 'Dad can I borrow the keys to the car', number three, 'Dad can I have some cookies.'

  [just then, of course, Dobie comes through the door] 

  Dobie Gillis : Dad... Dad, can I borrow some money?

  Herbert T. Gillis : Number one, No.

  Dobie Gillis : And Dad, about the car tonight...

  Herbert T. Gillis : Number two, No. Say, what about the next question?

  Dobie Gillis : What question?

  Herbert T. Gillis : Number three, uh, cookies?

  Dobie Gillis : Say, now that you mention cookies...

  Herbert T. Gillis : *No.*

• Dobie Gillis : So, why don't you go home and write an essay about your favorite pet?

  Maynard G. Krebs : I ain't like got a pet.

  Dobie Gillis : You must'a had a pet at some time or other.

  Maynard G. Krebs : Yeah, well, once I had a vermilion.

  Dobie Gillis : A what?

  Maynard G. Krebs : You know, one of them little lizards that change color.

  Dobie Gillis : Maynard, that's 'chameleon'.

  Maynard G. Krebs : Yeah, chameleon. Oooh, what a gas. Put him on somethin' brown, he'd turn brown. Put him on somethin' red, he'd turn red. Put him on somethin' plaid, he'd turn plaid.

  Dobie Gillis : [as Maynard gets wound up, Dobie repeatedly tries to interrupt]  Maynard...

  Maynard G. Krebs : Put him on somethin' yellow, he'd turn yellow. Put him on somethin' blue, he'd turn blue. Y' put him on black, he'd turn white.

  Dobie Gillis : Maynard... he'd turn white?

  Maynard G. Krebs : Yeah. He didn't know how to turn black. He was a pretty young chameleon.

• Mason Dixon : [as she leaves the store, Mason tells Dobie that she won't be available for their date]  Some boys I know from Stonewall Jackson Military School are flyin' up for the weekend...

  Dobie Gillis : Mason... Mason...

  Mason Dixon : ...and I just *adore* a boy in uniform.

  [she leaves] 

  Dobie Gillis : [to Maynard]  Uniforms. What's in a uniform? If you take away the fancy epaulets, and the gold braid, and the brass buttons, and the scrambled eggs on the hat, and the sword, and the shiny boots, what have ya got left?

  Maynard G. Krebs : A naked soldier.