- Countess: [to the Count] Put down your arms and stop making a fool of yourself. You look like a wrinkled kite.
- Countess: [hitting a nail into a coffin] I don't know why I ever got married. I spend half my life making beds...
- Countess: Poor darling, he must be tired. He usually doesn't fall asleep until the part where the monster defeats King Arthur and rescues the Wicked Witch.
- Jake Kong: There it is.
- Eddie Spenser: Well maybe it's the wrong castle?
- Jake Kong: It's the only castle. If the Dracula's aren't staying there, squirrels don't like acorns.
- Jake Kong: [Seeing Spencer is holding the Ghost Dematerializer] We got 'em now, Spence! We got 'em. Turn it on!
- Eddie Spenser: [Smiling to reveal his fangs] What do you mean "we," flat-tooth?