The Raccoons (TV Series)

Opportunity Knocks! (1986)

Carl Banas: Schaeffer

Quotes 

• Bert Raccoon : [sniffling]  Aw, geez. I feel like my whole world is disappearing!

  Schaeffer : [patting Bert gently on the back]  So do we, Bert.

  Bert Raccoon : Yeah. Sure.

• [Bert rushes down to the front room, fit as a fiddle] 

  Bert Raccoon : That does it! This is the last time Cyril Sneer tries to take over our forest!

  Schaeffer : Bert! You're up!

  Bert Raccoon : Huh, you're darn right I'm up!

  [Schaeffer and Melissa, realizing Bert had been faking his illness, exchange knowing glances] 

  Bert Raccoon : And I don't intend to lie still again till Cyril Sneer and his silly schemes are put to a permanent stop!

  Melissa Raccoon : I thought you were sick?

  Bert Raccoon : Huh? Oh.

  [He giggles sheepishly] 

  Bert Raccoon : It's amazing what modern science can do.