- Pointy-Haired Boss: Perhaps we need further research?
- Dilbert: Yes!
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Perhaps further study?
- Dilbert: Yes!
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Who's got time for that, you prig? No, we need to create some favorable facts first.
- Dilbert: Favorable facts?
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Yes. Favorable facts. The other kind are worthless.
- Wally: We could flip a coin.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: No, too risky.
- Loud Howard: We could test humans. That's always fun.
- Asok: What about monkeys? Or rabbits, or puppies? We've had some success hurting them in the past, haven't we?
- Alice: Dilbert could do some tests on mice. Mice are full of favorable facts.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Very good. Mice it is.
- Dilbert: This is ridiculous, but at least that's vaguely scientific. I'll need a budget to get some mice.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: We're not PAYING for mice. Good God man the streets are full of them!
- Dogbert: I have discovered a heretofore undiagnosed condition.
- Dilbert: There is no such thing as Chronic Cubicle Syndrome.
- Dogbert: Initially victims exhibit denial.
- Dilbert: But you have no proof.
- Dogbert: Oh, I have something much better than proof. Anecdotal evidence!
- Dogbert: Who do you think would be dumb enough to believe anecdotal evidence?
- Dogbert: I've narrowed my target market to... PEOPLE!