- Kyoya Otori: Haruhi, you booked another appointment. It seems you've had a pretty steady flow of new customers lately. Keep up the good work. I'm not going to charge you interest on your debt like I normally would, so keep this up and you should be able to pay it off. Although the rental fee on that kimono you're wearing is nothing to sneeze at.
- Haruhi Fujioka: [receiving a gift, genuinely surprised] It's for me?
- Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin: Are you the cutest!
- Tamaki Suou: My tears are always genuine, Haruhi. Being able to cry without the use of eye-drops is the mark of a true host.
- Renge Hoshakuji: [to Tamaki] You're phony! I find it hard to believe that someone like you is the prince character of this host club! You shouldn't be spreading your love around so easily like that, you stupid! You must be a dim-witted narcissist! You're incompetent! You're a commoner! You disgust me!
- Hikaru Hitachiin: [referring to Tamaki] Why is he sulking?
- Kaoru Hitachiin: Because Mommy was keeping a secret from Daddy.
- [arrows with boxes reading "Daddy" and "Mommy" pop up, pointing to Tamaki and Kyoya respectively]
- Kyoya Otori: Whatever. Why does everyone insist on referring to us like we're husband and wife?
- Tamaki Suou: This is our chance to help Haruhi get in touch with her feminine side. This is an important project, men. She doesn't have any friends in class right now except for these two shady twins. That's no good for her.
- Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin: [in unison] Like YOU have room to talk.
- Haruhi Fujioka: If you judge people by their appearance, you're stereotyping them and you'll never see the person inside.
- Renge Hoshakuji: Oh. I don't understand what you're trying to say.
- Kyoya Otori: I'm terribly sorry, but I can not allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. I think you've caused enough trouble around her, Renge. Please stop being such a pest.
- Hikaru Hitachiin: For your information, it's common for a host to use eye-drops.
- Kaoru Hitachiin: No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears.
- Haruhi Fujioka: That's cheating.
- Kaoru Hitachiin: Oh, don't be such a party-pooper.
- [English version]
- [as Haruhi samples one of Renge's cookies, the twins see a chance to put their moves on her]
- Hikaru Hitachiin: [Coming up close] May I try?
- [bites off the other end of the cookie hanging from Haruhi's mouth]
- Kaoru Hitachiin: Uh-oh, Haruhi, you've got crumbs on your face.
- [licks crumbs from her cheek]
- Tamaki Suou: Did you see what they just did? He took a bite of the cookie while it was in her mouth, and then the other one licked her face! What're they doing? I told you those shady twins can't be trusted? They're trying to seduce her!
- Kyoya Otori: [as Tamaki rages] And suddenly the trio of classmates are closer together than they've ever been before.
- Haruhi Fujioka: [to Kaoru] You know, you could've just told me and I could have wiped it off.
- Haruhi Fujioka: [to Hikaru] And if you wanted to try one, there's plenty here.
- Tamaki Suou: [grabs Haruhi's face] That's not the way you're supposed to react, Haruhi! You have to stay strong and reject them, then casually brush them to the side! Do you understand?
- Haruhi Fujioka: This is sexual harassment, sempai.
- Tamaki Suou: SEXUAL HARASSMENT? If that counts as sexual harassment, then they're TWICE as guilty! Someone call the police!