- Reporter: [on TV] After weeks of searching, Princess Diana still cannot find a nanny to take care of her two little boys.
- Piggy: Oh, poor Princess Di.
- Reporter: Informed sources say it's getting harder and harder to find a good nanny these days.
- Kids: It is?
- Reporter: Yes, it is. There just don't seem to be many good nannies around.
- Rowlf: I guess we're pretty lucky. We got the best nanny in the whole world.
- Fozzie: Maybe we could give the princess our nanny.
- Kids: Fozzie!
- Skeeter: If we do that, then we won't have a nanny anymore.
- Fozzie: Oh, yeah.
- [the kids imagine themselves in Buckingham Palace]
- Rowlf: Hey, this place is pretty wild.
- Fozzie: Yeah, it even reminds me of a joke. What time is it when Sir Lunchalot looked at his bellybutton? It was the middle of the knight! Get it? Middle of the knight? Bellybutton? Ha ha ha!
- Piggy: [sarcastically] Very funny, Fozzie.
- Fozzie: You really mean it? Gee, maybe I could tell it to the princess? Do you think she'll like it?
- Piggy: I certainly do not. Just don't say anything and you won't embarrass me.
- Gonzo: [approaches a baby] Meet Barney Smith. His nanny disappeared yesterday. Tell me, kid, did you notice anything strange about her lately?
- Barney Smith: Can't say that I did, 'cause I didn't.
- Gonzo: Did she, uh, sprout any wings?
- Barney Smith: Can't say that she did, 'cause she didn't.
- Gonzo: Did you ever see her do anything like this?
- [Gonzo wraps his nose around his face]
- Barney Smith: Can't say that I did...
- Kids: 'Cause he didn't, Gonzo!
- [Gonzo searches the missing nanny's room]
- Gonzo: Ah-ha! A cold pot of tea!
- [searches a closet]
- Gonzo: Ah-ha! Striped socks! Ah-ha! Jogging shoes!
- [follows a trail of footprints]
- Gonzo: Ah-ha! Ah-ha! Ah-ha!
- Piggy: Listen, Mr. Doctor-Inspector-Sherlock, what's all this "Ah-haing" about?
- Gonzo: It's just as I expected.
- Scooter: What's just as you expected?
- Gonzo: The Smith nanny was planning to come back.
- Kids: She was?
- Gonzo: She was just going for a quick jog... or, at least, that's what she thought.
- Kids: Ah-ha!
- Piggy: Just a second. Do you mean to tell me that aliens had kidnapped all the nannies? I don't believe it.
- Gonzo: Got any better ideas?
- Skeeter: Ah, let's go back to the nursery. What would a bunch of alien life forms want with Earth nannies anyway?
- Fozzie: Maybe their planet is all messy and they need the nannies to clean it up.
- Kids: Huh?
- Scooter: I could use my computer to try and track any alien spaceships.
- Kids: Good idea.
- [later, everyone has gathered around Scooter's computer]
- Scooter: Gosh, I'm starting to pick up something weird already.
- Animal: [looking at a satellite-umbrella] Wha?
- Gonzo: I knew it. I've been picking up alien brainwaves all day.
- Piggy: So what else is new?
- [the kids question Gonzo when he leads them to the dining room]
- Gonzo: Ah, don't you guys know a barbershop when you see one?
- Kids: A barbershop?
- Kermit: Well, even if it is a barbershop, how is it gonna get us to the aliens, Gonzo?
- Gonzo: Well, haven't you ever heard of a shortcut?
- Fozzie: Oh, yeah. My sideburns could use a little trim.
- Kids: Fozzie!
- Skeeter: Come on, you guys. We've got to get back to the nursery and save Nanny.
- Gonzo: But we gotta rescue all these other nannies, too, don't we?
- Kermit: Right. We'll have to split up. Uh, Skeeter, Animal, and Fozzie, come with me. Gonzo, I'm putting you in charge of the Nanny Rescue Mission.
- Gonzo: You are? You won't regret it, captain.
- Piggy: But, Kermie, I want to come with you.
- Kermit: I need you here, Piggy.
- Piggy: I want to go back to the nursery.
- Skeeter: Kermit, I've got an idea.
- [Skeeter whispers to Kermit]
- Piggy: I don't like secrets.
- Kermit: [gulps] Okay. I'll do it... for Nanny. Piggy, uh...
- [to Skeeter]
- Kermit: Are you sure this is gonna work?
- Skeeter: I saw it in a movie once. Trust me.
- Kermit: Well, okay. Piggy, the time has come, uh... The time has come...
- [Skeeter whispers to Kermit]
- Kermit: [talks rapidly] The time has come for us to part, but we will meet again.
- [Kermit kisses Piggy on her cheek]
- Piggy: Ahhhh... .
- [Piggy faints]
- Kermit: Gosh.
- Skeeter: Come on. Let's go.
- Kermit: Right.
- [Kermit's group leaves and Piggy soon wakes up]
- Piggy: [enamored] He kissed me.
- Piggy: Are you sure this alien detector of yours is gonna work, Rowlf?
- Rowlf: No problem. The minute an alien gets close, it'll start ticking faster and faster, uh, I hope.
- Piggy: Well, judging from Scooter, it looks like we'll have plenty of time to test it.
- Scooter: Come on, Piggy. I'm working as fast as I can. I've never shut off an alien spaceship computer before.
- [Rowlf's "alien detector" starts to tick very fast]
- Rowlf: Uh-oh. Alien approaching!
- Scooter: Oh, no!
- Piggy: They're coming?
- Rowlf: Uh-huh.
- Scooter: What are we gonna do?
- [the door begins to open]
- Scooter: Please don't hurt us, Mister... .
- [Gonzo appears]
- Rowlf, Scooter, Piggy: Gonzo?
- Rowlf: [about his alien detector] Hey, this thing does work!
- Piggy: I always said he was an alien.
- [Gonzo is playing tic-tac-toe with the alien leader]
- Gonzo: Ha! I win! Now it's my question. Why are you taking away all the nannies?
- Alien Leader: Ah, we don't need the nannies. We need their socks.
- Gonzo, Rowlf, Scooter, Piggy: Their socks?
- Alien Leader: Yes. Uh, we use striped socks as fuel on our planet and we need them to power our spaceship so we can go home.
- [Gonzo's group returns]
- Gonzo, Scooter, Rowlf, Piggy: We did it!
- Skeeter, Kermit: You did?
- [every cheers, Nanny enters with a drowsy Fozzie]
- Nanny: What's all the commotion about, kids?
- Kids: Oh, nothing, Nanny.
- Nanny: Well, that's good because it's time for bed.
- [Nanny walks off with Animal]
- Piggy: I can't believe it. We saved all the nannies.
- Fozzie: We did?
- Scooter: Yay!
- Kermit: And the aliens went home.
- Fozzie: They did?
- Gonzo: Uh-huh.
- Fozzie: [points to the window] Then who's that?
- Kids: Huh?
- [everyone sees a spaceship fly by outside]
- Kermit: Oh, no! I wonder what they want.
- Gonzo: Ooh! Maybe they're from a planet that collects shoes instead of socks!
- [everyone gasps]
- Gonzo: Quick! Hide your shoes!
- Nanny: Into bed.
- Kids: Yes, Nanny.
- [the kids climb into their cribs]
- Kermit: Uh, Nanny, would you mind sleeping in here with us tonight?
- Nanny: What?
- Piggy: Uh, yeah. Um, we're a-a little scared to be alone.
- Nanny: All right. I'll just make myself a bed right here on the couch.
- Kids: Oh, goody!
- Piggy: Thanks, Nanny.
- Gonzo: Uh, Nanny?
- Nanny: Yes, Gonzo?
- Gonzo: Keep an eye on your shoes, okay?
- Nanny: [chuckles] Okay, Gonzo. I will.